Christmas season discussions. (2025)

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My MIL texted my wife today and said they want to buy all the boy grandsons hoodies that say “FREEDOM” on it with Charlie Kirk’s picture, and asked if that would be okay, and if our son would wear wear it.
My wife responded that our son wouldn’t wear it, but would understand if that is what they wanted to get him.
My MIL then asked if he would wear something “Patriotic.” My wife said of course but please don’t make it political. My MIL then sent a screenshot of what they had in mind and of course it is one of those shops that only MAGA-types wear in large part to identify as MAGA complete with automatic weapons on the sleeves.
My wife responded, “how about a Panthers hoodie?”
No response.

For the record, neither my wife nor I have ever worn one single article of clothing that could be considered political, nor would we buy something like that for our own children, much less someone else’s.
 
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ChileG said:
My MIL texted my wife today and said they want to buy all the boy grandsons hoodies that say “FREEDOM” on it with Charlie Kirk’s picture, and asked if that would be okay, and if our son wouldn’t wear wear it.
My wife responded that our son wouldn’t wear it, but would understand if they is what they wanted to get him.
My MIL then asked if he would wear something “Patriotic.” My wife said of course but please don’t make it political. My MIL then sent a screenshot of what they had in mind and of course it is one of those shops that only MAGA-types wear in large part to identify as MAGA complete with automatic weapons on the sleeves.
My wife responded, “how about a Panthers hoodie?”
No response.

For the record, neither my wife nor I have ever worn one single article of clothing that could be considered political, nor would we buy something like that for our own children, much less someone else’s.
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WTF

Those are ridiculous gifts to give grandkids. At least they asked I guess.
 
Ddseddse said:
My Grinchy list of Christmas movies I strongly dislike:
  • The Polar Express: What am I watching here? What sin have I committed to deserve to be trapped in this soulless plasticy dystopian nightmare?
  • The Jim Carrey Grinch: Way to go, ruin a classic Dr Seus story so you can feed Jim Carrey's ego and let him take a great big overacting shit on the story. (I feel the same way about the Mike Meyer's Cat in the Hat, fwiw).
  • Home Alone, in all it's incarnations: Am I the only one who can see that Kevin is a fucking sadist?, and we're being asked to laugh along as he LITERALLY tortures those two thieves? I mean am I taking crazy pills?
  • Muppet Christmas Carol: I'm sorry. it's boring. I LOVE the Muppets, I'm on record saying Muppet Treasure Island is top two best movie ever. But I can't even make it though Muppet Christmas Carol. I think the difference is Muppet Treasure Island was a straight up retelling plus Muppet Hijinks, and Muppet Christmas Carol is just a straight up retelling, no hijinks. There's no value add there.
My less Grinchy list of Christmas movies I love:
  • A Christmas Story
  • Christmas Vacation
  • That cartoon with the mouse, you know the one I mean
  • Miracle on 34th Street
  • Bad Santa
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Christmas with the Kranks is the worst ever
 
mpaer said:
So I have to admit Christmas has some bad moments these days
Divorced 11 years ago and getting the kids/grandkids to "split" time between us is a logistical ,emotional uggghhh
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I can sympathize. But, actually from the other side.

I'm extremely lucky to have all my family local, but as a child of divorced parents, trying to navigate mom/stepdad, dad/stepmom, wife's family (also local), 3 siblings holiday events, is stressful at best, and at worst feels like trying to pull ship into a harbor whose approach has been heavily mined.

I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but I'd also like to not subject my daughter to pinballing across two counties for days on end and to maybe even eke out a little time for a cozy nuclear family Christmas of our own.

And then there's always the dreaded "Why do they get to see you on Christmas day and we have to settle for after Christmas? Listen, I love you all with all of my heart, and we're going to change this up year to year. Please, understand we're trying our best to make this as equitable as possible. But I will not turn my daughter's Christmas into a forced slog of half a dozen separate Christmases across a two county area. I promise you that you will enjoy the visit better when we're all not stressed out and have the time to really relax and enjoy each other's company and holiday cheer.

EDIT: An added degree of difficulty is that, as is perfectly natural, reasonable and desirable, both mom/stepdad and dad/stepmom want to see all the sibs and grandkids at the same time. And each of us sibs it trying to solve our own separate calculus problem with our spouse's family's events added as seperate variables, and so you get this protracted multi-party negotiation going on.
 
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I'll tell you what I miss. When we first had kids, I was stationed in Wurzburg. We picked up their Advent Calendar tradition. The kids would come to breakfast each morning anticipating what was behind each window. My wife always kept it very simple: a single gummy bear, marzipan sweets (usually Niederegger), Lebkuchen, etc. Then smiling off to Wurzburg American Elementary. I miss those simple times.
 
Ddseddse said:
I can sympathize. But, actually from the other side.

I'm extremely lucky to have all my family local, but as a child of divorced parents, trying to navigate mom/stepdad, dad/stepmom, wife's family (also local), 3 siblings holiday events, is stressful at best, and at worst feels like trying to pull ship into a harbor whose approach has been heavily mined.

I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but I'd also like to not subject my daughter to pinballing across two counties for days on end and to maybe even eke out a little time for a cozy nuclear family Christmas of our own.

And then there's always the dreaded "Why do they get to see you on Christmas day and we have to settle for after Christmas? Listen, I love you all with all of my heart, and we're going to change this up year to year. Please, understand we're trying our best to make this as equitable as possible. But I will not turn my daughter's Christmas into a forced slog of half a dozen separate Christmases across a two county area. I promise you that you will enjoy the visit better when we're all not stressed out and have the time to really relax and enjoy each other's company and holiday cheer.

EDIT: An added degree of difficulty is that, as is perfectly natural, reasonable and desirable, both mom/stepdad and dad/stepmom want to see all the sibs and grandkids at the same time. And each of us sibs it trying to solve our own separate calculus problem with our spouse's family's events added as seperate variables, and so you get this protracted multi-party negotiation going on.
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I have been dealing with similar things because of my wife’s divorced parents for about 20 years now. It’s hard to complain when we are blessed with so much, but the holidays are not at all relaxing for me.
 
ChileG said:
I have been dealing with similar things because of my wife’s divorced parents for about 20 years now. It’s hard to complain when we are blessed with so much, but the holidays are not at all relaxing for me.
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Agree. Honestly can't (or at least shouldn't) complain. Blessed to have so many loved ones who want to be near and dear to us at the holidays!
 
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