Does anyone regret staying in a complacent marriage for the sake of their kids?

StoneColdHeel said:
I couldn't be in a relationship where there was no intimacy. Even if you still love each other, to me it would be no different than the love you have for a friend or family member, and that's not the same type of love a marriage should have.
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That is exactly what it is.

I'm thankful that my kids are older and that my wife and I didn't stay together for the kids. At that point we were together for each other.

Now, I still love my wife and she loves me, but there's no intimacy and it is what you describe. It's like a roommate with no benefits. 😁
 
UNCatTech said:
That is exactly what it is.

I'm thankful that my kids are older and that my wife and I didn't stay together for the kids. At that point we were together for each other.

Now, I still love my wife and she loves me, but there's no intimacy and it is what you describe. It's like a roommate with no benefits. 😁
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Sad Michael Scott GIF
 
GeeWhy said:
I knew I was not marriage material. Not necessarily due to the usual sins. My own particular brand. I think it was the right decision. However, there are things I regret missing. Dutch ovens for one. I will tell you who has no regrets. The woman who might have had the misfortune of marrying me. Whoever you are. You're welcome.
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I often thought this when I was younger. I still sometimes ponder what if I hadn't gotten married.

But, ultimately, no matter how hard or confusing the future is; I have had 30 good years, three wonderful daughters, and lots of good memories.

When the divorce is complete, I have no intention of ever getting married again. Not sure if I even want the hassle of dating.

Back to the subject, based on my childhood, had my wife and I been together only for the kids it would not have worked. I would not have done that to the kids. I would have chosen to be honest with them and make sure that they never felt as if any of it were there fault.
 
StoneColdHeel said:
My mom and dad probably should have gotten a divorce years ago. They're in their 70s now and been married 60 years. Got married when they were 18. I think they still love each other but stopped liking each other a long time ago. Unfortunately, I think that happens with most marriages, even with people that don't get divorced. I don't think most people really end up with the person that's the best fit for them.
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Same with my parents.

They split up once for a year, my dad was so codependent that he would work then just sit at home waiting. For some reason my mom came back.

I honestly wish they had stayed split up and divorced. They never got along. They didn't even seem to like each other.
 
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UNCatTech said:
I often thought this when I was younger. I still sometimes ponder what if I hadn't gotten married.

But, ultimately, no matter how hard or confusing the future is; I have had 30 good years, three wonderful daughters, and lots of good memories.

When the divorce is complete, I have no intention of ever getting married again. Not sure if I even want the hassle of dating.

Back to the subject, based on my childhood, had my wife and I been together only for the kids it would not have worked. I would not have done that to the kids. I would have chosen to be honest with them and make sure that they never felt as if any of it were there fault.
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Yeah, i can't imagine dating again, it feels all relationships are filled with a little drama, and i'm done with that.
 
I’ve posted about this before but after 40+ years of being married I have an apartment close to the house. We are still intimate (usually Sunday mornings) but we are definitely getting along better than the last 20 years. We’re best friends but somewhere along the line we lost our appreciation for each other. We thought we were clever but apparently we were fortunate enough to financially occupy separate houses.
 
Bots, trolls and db daddy's boys trip over themselves to chime in on distinct videos about a father possibly not being in the home with their psychotic children.
 
A lot of this dilemma could be solved by simply making marriage licenses like driver’s licenses. DLs expire and the choice is simple… renew or no. More seriously, I guess; marriage was invented for no other reason than to advance the propagation of the species. It’s all about the kids.
 
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