Family court

[superrific]

I've been thinking about this a bunch recently but didn't want to post anything for fear of jinxing myself. LOL. No jinx required.

1. Family court is an abomination. Today I managed to lose my custody case, seeking to get custody over my twins because my ex- refuses to get adequate treatment for the one who regularly assaults girls and animals at school. The reason given by the court? You can't make this up: I asked my wife for advice about medicating my son. My wife the child psychiatrist who has treated thousands of autistic kids over her 20 year career. In fact, my wife is the leading child psych in the area, and indeed she caught a medication error by the resident to whom my ex- occasionally takes me son to prove to the court that she's seeking treatment for him (though she lies).

In general, the judge blamed my wife for everything, and said that the kids should be parented by the parents, not the step-mom. Almost always, the complaint about spouses in a custody situation is that they distract one of the parents from parenting with their conjugal needs. The idea that it's a problem that the step-mom takes an interest in the children -- keeping in mind that she has been assaulted by my son and threatened with a knife twice -- is so ludicrous that I can't believe I just heard it. Obviously I couldn't have ever won this case because I was unaware of the principle that step-moms are bad. The judge said that I was not fit to be obtaining treatment for him because I'm not interested in the doctors' thoughts, that I'm only interested in boosting my wife. Not only is that untrue (and supported by precisely nothing in the record), but seriously? It is a bad thing for me to consult a child psychiatrist when thinking about my son's psychiatric problems?

2. There's now no question in my mind that the family court is biased against men. I've always discounted that idea; every person who loses a case finds some reason that the judge was anti-them. But this ruling is so loco that obviously the judge found the outcome she wanted and went with it. She called my ex-wife's testimony "credible" though it was contradicted by documents, by her own statements, and the testimony of our eldest son. I mean, I've been through this twice now and the judges have been absolutely nuts, just making up facts. It wasn't a slam dunk case for me; the judge could have held for my ex-wife by saying that I didn't carry my burden of proof. But instead she made a number of accusations against me, at my person, based on nothing. Literally nothing.

3. When we talk about men being disaffected and falling behind, I don't think family court gets enough attention. It is an incredibly alienating process. For one thing, it shouldn't be a judicial proceeding. You shouldn't need to pay $30K+ to settle a custody dispute (or in my previous case, 100K). You shouldn't need stupid shit like authenticating evidence from the school. The hearsay evidence rule needs to be relaxed, given that hearsay is literally the only way to get into evidence some of the most important information -- i.e. the children's own experience. But no, we do family court because shitty lawyers need jobs.

And at least where I live, it's super-biased against men. So men are told to be fathers; but when we try to be fathers, we are told to shove off. My kids desperately want more time with me, because I care about their problems and they look to me for guidance and I nurture their abilities. I get six overnights every four weeks, plus 2 hour visits on Wednesdays.

4. I bet this is a pretty sizeable factor in men feeling as though the government is out to get them. Because, on this issue, it kind of is. And there's no question that it's the liberals who are driving this, and in particular liberal women.

And perhaps most importantly, it's not only the litigants! It's the kids. My eldest son called the judge a bitch when he learned of the outcome. He was pissed off that the first judge didn't listen to him or give his views any credence; now that the next judge decided to swallow a pack of lies from his mom and disregard his testimony, he's decided that judges are full of shit. Hey great job, liberals!

My twins are going to be really pissed that they can't spend more time with me. And whose fault will it be? It is, in fact, the judge's fault. And my kids are growing up, seeing that men and fathers are being devalued and they will get the message. My eldest -- I have completely confidence in him, and he wouldn't let his experience here leech out into his other views. But my twins? I don't know.

5. This is an issue that liberals need to fix. But they won't, because there are too many mouths being fed by the current system. If Trump just feels a need to destroy things, family court would have been a much better target. It needs disruption in the worst way. (Of course, I would not trust Trump to find a replacement and yes I know it's a state issue).

 

[StrangePackage]

I've been thinking about this a bunch recently but didn't want to post anything for fear of jinxing myself. LOL. No jinx required.

1. Family court is an abomination. Today I managed to lose my custody case, seeking to get custody over my twins because my ex- refuses to get adequate treatment for the one who regularly assaults girls and animals at school. The reason given by the court? You can't make this up: I asked my wife for advice about medicating my son. My wife the child psychiatrist who has treated thousands of autistic kids over her 20 year career. In fact, my wife is the leading child psych in the area, and indeed she caught a medication error by the resident to whom my ex- occasionally takes me son to prove to the court that she's seeking treatment for him (though she lies).

In general, the judge blamed my wife for everything, and said that the kids should be parented by the parents, not the step-mom. Almost always, the complaint about spouses in a custody situation is that they distract one of the parents from parenting with their conjugal needs. The idea that it's a problem that the step-mom takes an interest in the children -- keeping in mind that she has been assaulted by my son and threatened with a knife twice -- is so ludicrous that I can't believe I just heard it. Obviously I couldn't have ever won this case because I was unaware of the principle that step-moms are bad. The judge said that I was not fit to be obtaining treatment for him because I'm not interested in the doctors' thoughts, that I'm only interested in boosting my wife. Not only is that untrue (and supported by precisely nothing in the record), but seriously? It is a bad thing for me to consult a child psychiatrist when thinking about my son's psychiatric problems?

2. There's now no question in my mind that the family court is biased against men. I've always discounted that idea; every person who loses a case finds some reason that the judge was anti-them. But this ruling is so loco that obviously the judge found the outcome she wanted and went with it. She called my ex-wife's testimony "credible" though it was contradicted by documents, by her own statements, and the testimony of our eldest son. I mean, I've been through this twice now and the judges have been absolutely nuts, just making up facts. It wasn't a slam dunk case for me; the judge could have held for my ex-wife by saying that I didn't carry my burden of proof. But instead she made a number of accusations against me, at my person, based on nothing. Literally nothing.

3. When we talk about men being disaffected and falling behind, I don't think family court gets enough attention. It is an incredibly alienating process. For one thing, it shouldn't be a judicial proceeding. You shouldn't need to pay $30K+ to settle a custody dispute (or in my previous case, 100K). You shouldn't need stupid shit like authenticating evidence from the school. The hearsay evidence rule needs to be relaxed, given that hearsay is literally the only way to get into evidence some of the most important information -- i.e. the children's own experience. But no, we do family court because shitty lawyers need jobs.

And at least where I live, it's super-biased against men. So men are told to be fathers; but when we try to be fathers, we are told to shove off. My kids desperately want more time with me, because I care about their problems and they look to me for guidance and I nurture their abilities. I get six overnights every four weeks, plus 2 hour visits on Wednesdays.

4. I bet this is a pretty sizeable factor in men feeling as though the government is out to get them. Because, on this issue, it kind of is. And there's no question that it's the liberals who are driving this, and in particular liberal women.

And perhaps most importantly, it's not only the litigants! It's the kids. My eldest son called the judge a bitch when he learned of the outcome. He was pissed off that the first judge didn't listen to him or give his views any credence; now that the next judge decided to swallow a pack of lies from his mom and disregard his testimony, he's decided that judges are full of shit. Hey great job, liberals!

My twins are going to be really pissed that they can't spend more time with me. And whose fault will it be? It is, in fact, the judge's fault. And my kids are growing up, seeing that men and fathers are being devalued and they will get the message. My eldest -- I have completely confidence in him, and he wouldn't let his experience here leech out into his other views. But my twins? I don't know.

5. This is an issue that liberals need to fix. But they won't, because there are too many mouths being fed by the current system. If Trump just feels a need to destroy things, family court would have been a much better target. It needs disruption in the worst way. (Of course, I would not trust Trump to find a replacement and yes I know it's a state issue).

I'm sorry you're having a rough go with this. I hope things get easier for your family and your children thrive.

 

[superrific]

I'm sorry you're having a rough go with this. I hope things get easier for your family and your children thrive.

They will not. One of my sons is going to cause serious injury to someone and probably end up in juvi or institutionalized, because he's not getting any care for his emotional issues.

I am just so, so, so sick of stupidity. I am sick of judges literally inventing testimony, ignoring unrebutted and critical testimony. The judge said that the problem was that I didn't know how to handle the children, even though my eldest son -- literally the only person who could know this -- testified that they behave the same way at both houses, and that one of my twins is aggressive to other kids on the playground. And there's a list of three dozen instances of him being aggressive at school. Literally there is no record evidence supporting that claim, and lots of evidence contradicting it. The judge doesn't know the law. Doesn't understand hearsay evidence. Thinks she's an expert in autism. Thinks she can read my mind, despite plenty of record evidence to the contrary.

If I had lost for acceptable reasons, fine. But I just can't stand all the bullshit. The idea that stepmothers need to butt out -- I mean, wtf? My wife corrected a medication error that would never have been caught if she wasn't involved!!

The process is so alienating that it could make a person go MAGA. This case started because my eldest son couldn't deal with his mother's bullshit any more, so he fled to my house. His mother basically disowned him for a while, so I had full custody. The case came to include my twins; my eldest aged out because the process went on for two years. I represented myself in the admin hearing (and did a damn good job); hired someone for court; and am still down $35K. What I got for all of that was a scolding from the judge about how terrible I am -- again, despite reams of record evidence of my wife threatening me, attacking my wife's professional license, trying to get the principal fired because he wouldn't intervene to force my son and his girlfriend to break up.

This is something that needs to be fixed. It does not appear to be moving in that direction. Seriously, all those manosphere guys, hey how about you focus on a real problem for a change?

 

[Kraftyheel89]

Oh, it is 100% biased against men. It is outrageous what goes on in there. And you call it "Family Court," why? During my divorce and custody hearings it was just handled by county District Court judges.

I could tell you horror stories about the BS I went through not long after the "Me Too" movement. The D.A. told prosecutors and Magistrates office to take EVERY complaint and filing seriously.

Me ex and her inexperienced lawyer came after me HARD. That woman didn't even want kids and was gone most weekends playing the last year. That is basically why I divorced her.

Then after some research shortly after separation, I found calls, did more digging and discovered multiple affairs. I even got a hotel receipt as proof and hired a P.I. for even more. I called her and calmly shared that I found out about all of it. Asked her if she would like to apologize to me and family. She hung up on me.

I started drinking that night and texted her telling her what a whore she is and worthless mother for abandoning the kids 3 weekends a month. She was meeting amateur photographers thinking she was going to become a model. She was doing crap worthless short films with amateur wannabe filmmakers, thinking she was also going to be a movie star.

I had a 50B filed against me. It was actually considered and I had to appear in court before it was eventually tossed. Two weeks later she filed the exact same 50B. How it got through a second time, I have no idea.

I had to go to court again on same bogus charge. My Divorce Lawyer had pretrial motions, with the biggest point being, she can't file it twice. It was a female judge. They were all back in chambers for 20 minutes. My lawyer comes out, and motions to me to follow him out to the hall. He shares that she never read, considered, or listened and only read the 50B filing. We were not allowed to see the filing or accusations prior. My lawyer told me what all was in there and it was all made up. I never got a chance to speak and my lawyer had no chance to respond. There was NO hearing. My lawyer told me the judge would give me 90 days. If I did not contact her or get anywhere near her, we could THEN have a hearing. Or, we could have a brief hearing right then. My lawyer said take the 90 days, or she is going to approve 50B today even though it is bullshit. We did the 90 days and then it was eventually dropped.

In the meantime, she and her lawyer used my same texts to have me charged with cyberstalking, a level 2 misdemeanor. But I had mo idea about that. I had no idea she filed it. My young daughter told me that police were at their home several times. About the same time, I had a friend that worked in Human Resources for a local company. He regularly checked county arrest records to spot any employees or applicants. He ran across my name and said I was listed as being "arrested " WTF?

I call my lawyer and tell him about both instances, police at her house and me being listed as arrested, I found it myself. He called the Sheriff's Dept. says he is representing me in a divorce and does he have any info or record of police actions. The guy tells him, "yeah, there is a warrant out for his arrest."

My divorce lawyer gets me in touch with a criminal lawyer. It was a Thursday afternoon. I meet with the criminal lawyer and a partner with firm. I give them background. They decide it must have something to do with the 90 day pending 50B. I had been nowhere near her. They also told me, if I am pulled for any reason I would be cuffed. They also said I surely don't want them showing up at my business and doing that. They suggested I lay low. They told me to wait until midnight or 1am, go to the main jail downtown, and tell them I believe there is a warrant on me and I am there to turn myself in. That way I would only spend one night in there, then they would appear in court to get me out. Otherwise, I could be arrested on Friday and spend entire weekend in clink.

So I get down there at 12:30 in the morning. The magistrate, or whoever is there, calls me up at my turn and I tell her. She takes my ID and looks in system Nope no warrants. I ask her, we heard from the Sheriff's office, is she just looking at police dept? She said no, every law agency in NC is in that system. I go home and get no sleep.

Friday morning I drive down to downtown police station to find out what the hell is going on. They finally figure it out and tell me it is just a criminal summons. She says, since you are here I will just print it out and hand it to you. I look at it and all it says us "cyberstalking" with a court date.

I told her, my name has shown up on police blotter saying I was arrested. I told her I was never arrested. She said no, it's just a summons. I asked why was I listed as arrested. She had no idea. She asked if I wanted to wait for a free officer, I said absolutely. Ten minutes later she calls me back up. She tells me she talked to the expert in the records dept. She was told that is just the way they "code" it, because some cyberstalking cases CAN lead to an arrest. Ridiculous. The so called expert said it is just a "coding" there is nothing on your record. WRONG. I'm licensed in a highly regulated field. We are required to report any arrests within 48 hours. What a fun phone call I received 8 months later from our regulatory authority grilling me on my failure to report.

So back to criminal lawyer. I had already given retainer. They tell me they will need $10K up front to research and represent me at hearing. Months go by and lawyers have resolved nothing. I'm a month away from court date. I have my own idea. I go down and attempt to file my own cyberstalking charge against her. It was just some angry emails and texts she sent me during breakup, no threats, same as mine to her. The very young girl was buying none of it, as she shouldn't have, any moreso than the bogus one filed and accepted against me from a FEMALE. She also states, I see your wife has a cyberstalking charge pending against you. I said, yes she does, for exact same type of stuff I just showed you. My last hope was to appeal to her female sensibilities. After sharing the ugly texts and emails I received, I show her a post on her influencer wannabe model site. The post was all about your significant other not supporting you in chasing your dreams blah blah blah, a long attention seeking post. I said we have mutual friends, associates, clients in my case, and family that followed her. I shared the tawdry classless photos of herself she posted. I said this is what this supposed mother was doing most weekends for past year, while I was home with young kids. That us why I was angry, I NEVER threatened her in any way. I sent her ugly emails and texts just like I showed you from her.

BOOM. She issued it. Our lawyers got together and we both agreed to drop charges. I paid criminal lawyers $10K fir nothing - a pittance compared to my divorce lawyer.

I won't get into ugly divorce and custody proceedings. I did get out of alimony since I had hotel receipt and PI pictures. But suffice it to say, I got reemed on child support, even though I petitioned for sole custody of my daughter for same reasons as Super. I had a letter from her doctor stating the importance of receiving daily meds, which she was not getting on weekends when left with various mothers' friends. I had also reported her to child protective services who interviewed me, wife, and daughter. They sent the ex a nasty letter and told her to correct it ASAP. I had copy of that letter also. Nothing mattered, she is the female and I pay child support through the nose monthly to this day.

Indeed, men get screwed and put through hell. I will never marry again.

 

[Calheel]

Oh, it is 100% biased against men. It is outrageous what goes on in there. And you call it "Family Court," why? During my divorce and custody hearings it was just handled by county District Court judges.

I could tell you horror stories about the BS I went through not long after the "Me Too" movement. The D.A. told prosecutors and Magistrates office to take EVERY complaint and filing seriously.

Me ex and her inexperienced lawyer came after me HARD. That woman didn't even want kids and was gone most weekends playing the last year. That is basically why I divorced her.

Then after some research shortly after separation, I found calls, did more digging and discovered multiple affairs. I even got a hotel receipt as proof and hired a P.I. for even more. I called her and calmly shared that I found out about all of it. Asked her if she would like to apologize to me and family. She hung up on me.

I started drinking that night and texted her telling her what a whore she is and worthless mother for abandoning the kids 3 weekends a month. She was meeting amateur photographers thinking she was going to become a model. She was doing crap worthless short films with amateur wannabe filmmakers, thinking she was also going to be a movie star.

I had a 50B filed against me. It was actually considered and I had to appear in court before it was eventually tossed. Two weeks later she filed the exact same 50B. How it got through a second time, I have no idea.

I had to go to court again on same bogus charge. My Divorce Lawyer had pretrial motions, with the biggest point being, she can't file it twice. It was a female judge. They were all back in chambers for 20 minutes. My lawyer comes out, and motions to me to follow him out to the hall. He shares that she never read, considered, or listened and only read the 50B filing. We were not allowed to see the filing or accusations prior. My lawyer told me what all was in there and it was all made up. I never got a chance to speak and my lawyer had no chance to respond. There was NO hearing. My lawyer told me the judge would give me 90 days. If I did not contact her or get anywhere near her, we could THEN have a hearing. Or, we could have a brief hearing right then. My lawyer said take the 90 days, or she is going to approve 50B today even though it is bullshit. We did the 90 days and then it was eventually dropped.

In the meantime, she and her lawyer used my same texts to have me charged with cyberstalking, a level 2 misdemeanor. But I had mo idea about that. I had no idea she filed it. My young daughter told me that police were at their home several times. About the same time, I had a friend that worked in Human Resources for a local company. He regularly checked county arrest records to spot any employees or applicants. He ran across my name and said I was listed as being "arrested " WTF?

I call my lawyer and tell him about both instances, police at her house and me being listed as arrested, I found it myself. He called the Sheriff's Dept. says he is representing me in a divorce and does he have any info or record of police actions. The guy tells him, "yeah, there is a warrant out for his arrest."

My divorce lawyer gets me in touch with a criminal lawyer. It was a Thursday afternoon. I meet with the criminal lawyer and a partner with firm. I give them background. They decide it must have something to do with the 90 day pending 50B. I had been nowhere near her. They also told me, if I am pulled for any reason I would be cuffed. They also said I surely don't want them showing up at my business and doing that. They suggested I lay low. They told me to wait until midnight or 1am, go to the main jail downtown, and tell them I believe there is a warrant on me and I am there to turn myself in. That way I would only spend one night in there, then they would appear in court to get me out. Otherwise, I could be arrested on Friday and spend entire weekend in clink.

So I get down there at 12:30 in the morning. The magistrate, or whoever is there, calls me up at my turn and I tell her. She takes my ID and looks in system Nope no warrants. I ask her, we heard from the Sheriff's office, is she just looking at police dept? She said no, every law agency in NC is in that system. I go home and get no sleep.

Friday morning I drive down to downtown police station to find out what the hell is going on. They finally figure it out and tell me it is just a criminal summons. She says, since you are here I will just print it out and hand it to you. I look at it and all it says us "cyberstalking" with a court date.

I told her, my name has shown up on police blotter saying I was arrested. I told her I was never arrested. She said no, it's just a summons. I asked why was I listed as arrested. She had no idea. She asked if I wanted to wait for a free officer, I said absolutely. Ten minutes later she calls me back up. She tells me she talked to the expert in the records dept. She was told that is just the way they "code" it, because some cyberstalking cases CAN lead to an arrest. Ridiculous. The so called expert said it is just a "coding" there is nothing on your record. WRONG. I'm licensed in a highly regulated field. We are required to report any arrests within 48 hours. What a fun phone call I received 8 months later from our regulatory authority grilling me on my failure to report.

So back to criminal lawyer. I had already given retainer. They tell me they will need $10K up front to research and represent me at hearing. Months go by and lawyers have resolved nothing. I'm a month away from court date. I have my own idea. I go down and attempt to file my own cyberstalking charge against her. It was just some angry emails and texts she sent me during breakup, no threats, same as mine to her. The very young girl was buying none of it, as she shouldn't have, any moreso than the bogus one filed and accepted against me from a FEMALE. She also states, I see your wife has a cyberstalking charge pending against you. I said, yes she does, for exact same type of stuff I just showed you. My last hope was to appeal to her female sensibilities. After sharing the ugly texts and emails I received, I show her a post on her influencer wannabe model site. The post was all about your significant other not supporting you in chasing your dreams blah blah blah, a long attention seeking post. I said we have mutual friends, associates, clients in my case, and family that followed her. I shared the tawdry classless photos of herself she posted. I said this is what this supposed mother was doing most weekends for past year, while I was home with young kids. That us why I was angry, I NEVER threatened her in any way. I sent her ugly emails and texts just like I showed you from her.

BOOM. She issued it. Our lawyers got together and we both agreed to drop charges. I paid criminal lawyers $10K fir nothing - a pittance compared to my divorce lawyer.

I won't get into ugly divorce and custody proceedings. I did get out of alimony since I had hotel receipt and PI pictures. But suffice it to say, I got reemed on child support, even though I petitioned for sole custody of my daughter for same reasons as Super. I had a letter from her doctor stating the importance of receiving daily meds, which she was not getting on weekends when left with various mothers' friends. I had also reported her to child protective services who interviewed me, wife, and daughter. They sent the ex a nasty letter and told her to correct it ASAP. I had copy of that letter also. Nothing mattered, she is the female and I pay child support through the nose monthly to this day.

Indeed, men get screwed and put through hell. I will never marry again.

Whoa. That sucks. Sorry you had to go through all that, but good job advocating for yourself.

 

[gregh1]

Oh, it is 100% biased against men. It is outrageous what goes on in there. And you call it "Family Court," why? During my divorce and custody hearings it was just handled by county District Court judges.

I could tell you horror stories about the BS I went through not long after the "Me Too" movement. The D.A. told prosecutors and Magistrates office to take EVERY complaint and filing seriously.

Me ex and her inexperienced lawyer came after me HARD. That woman didn't even want kids and was gone most weekends playing the last year. That is basically why I divorced her.

Then after some research shortly after separation, I found calls, did more digging and discovered multiple affairs. I even got a hotel receipt as proof and hired a P.I. for even more. I called her and calmly shared that I found out about all of it. Asked her if she would like to apologize to me and family. She hung up on me.

I started drinking that night and texted her telling her what a whore she is and worthless mother for abandoning the kids 3 weekends a month. She was meeting amateur photographers thinking she was going to become a model. She was doing crap worthless short films with amateur wannabe filmmakers, thinking she was also going to be a movie star.

I had a 50B filed against me. It was actually considered and I had to appear in court before it was eventually tossed. Two weeks later she filed the exact same 50B. How it got through a second time, I have no idea.

I had to go to court again on same bogus charge. My Divorce Lawyer had pretrial motions, with the biggest point being, she can't file it twice. It was a female judge. They were all back in chambers for 20 minutes. My lawyer comes out, and motions to me to follow him out to the hall. He shares that she never read, considered, or listened and only read the 50B filing. We were not allowed to see the filing or accusations prior. My lawyer told me what all was in there and it was all made up. I never got a chance to speak and my lawyer had no chance to respond. There was NO hearing. My lawyer told me the judge would give me 90 days. If I did not contact her or get anywhere near her, we could THEN have a hearing. Or, we could have a brief hearing right then. My lawyer said take the 90 days, or she is going to approve 50B today even though it is bullshit. We did the 90 days and then it was eventually dropped.

In the meantime, she and her lawyer used my same texts to have me charged with cyberstalking, a level 2 misdemeanor. But I had mo idea about that. I had no idea she filed it. My young daughter told me that police were at their home several times. About the same time, I had a friend that worked in Human Resources for a local company. He regularly checked county arrest records to spot any employees or applicants. He ran across my name and said I was listed as being "arrested " WTF?

I call my lawyer and tell him about both instances, police at her house and me being listed as arrested, I found it myself. He called the Sheriff's Dept. says he is representing me in a divorce and does he have any info or record of police actions. The guy tells him, "yeah, there is a warrant out for his arrest."

My divorce lawyer gets me in touch with a criminal lawyer. It was a Thursday afternoon. I meet with the criminal lawyer and a partner with firm. I give them background. They decide it must have something to do with the 90 day pending 50B. I had been nowhere near her. They also told me, if I am pulled for any reason I would be cuffed. They also said I surely don't want them showing up at my business and doing that. They suggested I lay low. They told me to wait until midnight or 1am, go to the main jail downtown, and tell them I believe there is a warrant on me and I am there to turn myself in. That way I would only spend one night in there, then they would appear in court to get me out. Otherwise, I could be arrested on Friday and spend entire weekend in clink.

So I get down there at 12:30 in the morning. The magistrate, or whoever is there, calls me up at my turn and I tell her. She takes my ID and looks in system Nope no warrants. I ask her, we heard from the Sheriff's office, is she just looking at police dept? She said no, every law agency in NC is in that system. I go home and get no sleep.

Friday morning I drive down to downtown police station to find out what the hell is going on. They finally figure it out and tell me it is just a criminal summons. She says, since you are here I will just print it out and hand it to you. I look at it and all it says us "cyberstalking" with a court date.

I told her, my name has shown up on police blotter saying I was arrested. I told her I was never arrested. She said no, it's just a summons. I asked why was I listed as arrested. She had no idea. She asked if I wanted to wait for a free officer, I said absolutely. Ten minutes later she calls me back up. She tells me she talked to the expert in the records dept. She was told that is just the way they "code" it, because some cyberstalking cases CAN lead to an arrest. Ridiculous. The so called expert said it is just a "coding" there is nothing on your record. WRONG. I'm licensed in a highly regulated field. We are required to report any arrests within 48 hours. What a fun phone call I received 8 months later from our regulatory authority grilling me on my failure to report.

So back to criminal lawyer. I had already given retainer. They tell me they will need $10K up front to research and represent me at hearing. Months go by and lawyers have resolved nothing. I'm a month away from court date. I have my own idea. I go down and attempt to file my own cyberstalking charge against her. It was just some angry emails and texts she sent me during breakup, no threats, same as mine to her. The very young girl was buying none of it, as she shouldn't have, any moreso than the bogus one filed and accepted against me from a FEMALE. She also states, I see your wife has a cyberstalking charge pending against you. I said, yes she does, for exact same type of stuff I just showed you. My last hope was to appeal to her female sensibilities. After sharing the ugly texts and emails I received, I show her a post on her influencer wannabe model site. The post was all about your significant other not supporting you in chasing your dreams blah blah blah, a long attention seeking post. I said we have mutual friends, associates, clients in my case, and family that followed her. I shared the tawdry classless photos of herself she posted. I said this is what this supposed mother was doing most weekends for past year, while I was home with young kids. That us why I was angry, I NEVER threatened her in any way. I sent her ugly emails and texts just like I showed you from her.

BOOM. She issued it. Our lawyers got together and we both agreed to drop charges. I paid criminal lawyers $10K fir nothing - a pittance compared to my divorce lawyer.

I won't get into ugly divorce and custody proceedings. I did get out of alimony since I had hotel receipt and PI pictures. But suffice it to say, I got reemed on child support, even though I petitioned for sole custody of my daughter for same reasons as Super. I had a letter from her doctor stating the importance of receiving daily meds, which she was not getting on weekends when left with various mothers' friends. I had also reported her to child protective services who interviewed me, wife, and daughter. They sent the ex a nasty letter and told her to correct it ASAP. I had copy of that letter also. Nothing mattered, she is the female and I pay child support through the nose monthly to this day.

Indeed, men get screwed and put through hell. I will never marry again.

Damn. Did you get at least 50/50 custody?

 

[gregh1]

I've been thinking about this a bunch recently but didn't want to post anything for fear of jinxing myself. LOL. No jinx required.

1. Family court is an abomination. Today I managed to lose my custody case, seeking to get custody over my twins because my ex- refuses to get adequate treatment for the one who regularly assaults girls and animals at school. The reason given by the court? You can't make this up: I asked my wife for advice about medicating my son. My wife the child psychiatrist who has treated thousands of autistic kids over her 20 year career. In fact, my wife is the leading child psych in the area, and indeed she caught a medication error by the resident to whom my ex- occasionally takes me son to prove to the court that she's seeking treatment for him (though she lies).

In general, the judge blamed my wife for everything, and said that the kids should be parented by the parents, not the step-mom. Almost always, the complaint about spouses in a custody situation is that they distract one of the parents from parenting with their conjugal needs. The idea that it's a problem that the step-mom takes an interest in the children -- keeping in mind that she has been assaulted by my son and threatened with a knife twice -- is so ludicrous that I can't believe I just heard it. Obviously I couldn't have ever won this case because I was unaware of the principle that step-moms are bad. The judge said that I was not fit to be obtaining treatment for him because I'm not interested in the doctors' thoughts, that I'm only interested in boosting my wife. Not only is that untrue (and supported by precisely nothing in the record), but seriously? It is a bad thing for me to consult a child psychiatrist when thinking about my son's psychiatric problems?

2. There's now no question in my mind that the family court is biased against men. I've always discounted that idea; every person who loses a case finds some reason that the judge was anti-them. But this ruling is so loco that obviously the judge found the outcome she wanted and went with it. She called my ex-wife's testimony "credible" though it was contradicted by documents, by her own statements, and the testimony of our eldest son. I mean, I've been through this twice now and the judges have been absolutely nuts, just making up facts. It wasn't a slam dunk case for me; the judge could have held for my ex-wife by saying that I didn't carry my burden of proof. But instead she made a number of accusations against me, at my person, based on nothing. Literally nothing.

3. When we talk about men being disaffected and falling behind, I don't think family court gets enough attention. It is an incredibly alienating process. For one thing, it shouldn't be a judicial proceeding. You shouldn't need to pay $30K+ to settle a custody dispute (or in my previous case, 100K). You shouldn't need stupid shit like authenticating evidence from the school. The hearsay evidence rule needs to be relaxed, given that hearsay is literally the only way to get into evidence some of the most important information -- i.e. the children's own experience. But no, we do family court because shitty lawyers need jobs.

And at least where I live, it's super-biased against men. So men are told to be fathers; but when we try to be fathers, we are told to shove off. My kids desperately want more time with me, because I care about their problems and they look to me for guidance and I nurture their abilities. I get six overnights every four weeks, plus 2 hour visits on Wednesdays.

4. I bet this is a pretty sizeable factor in men feeling as though the government is out to get them. Because, on this issue, it kind of is. And there's no question that it's the liberals who are driving this, and in particular liberal women.

And perhaps most importantly, it's not only the litigants! It's the kids. My eldest son called the judge a bitch when he learned of the outcome. He was pissed off that the first judge didn't listen to him or give his views any credence; now that the next judge decided to swallow a pack of lies from his mom and disregard his testimony, he's decided that judges are full of shit. Hey great job, liberals!

My twins are going to be really pissed that they can't spend more time with me. And whose fault will it be? It is, in fact, the judge's fault. And my kids are growing up, seeing that men and fathers are being devalued and they will get the message. My eldest -- I have completely confidence in him, and he wouldn't let his experience here leech out into his other views. But my twins? I don't know.

5. This is an issue that liberals need to fix. But they won't, because there are too many mouths being fed by the current system. If Trump just feels a need to destroy things, family court would have been a much better target. It needs disruption in the worst way. (Of course, I would not trust Trump to find a replacement and yes I know it's a state issue).

This terrifies me as a father. If my spousal relationship goes down the tube, then time with my kid could be unfairly determined.

So sorry Super.

Will she be cool enough to let you have them beyond the court mandates?

 

[Kraftyheel89]

Damn. Did you get at least 50/50 custody?

Yes

 

[UNCatTech]

I've been thinking about this a bunch recently but didn't want to post anything for fear of jinxing myself. LOL. No jinx required.

1. Family court is an abomination. Today I managed to lose my custody case, seeking to get custody over my twins because my ex- refuses to get adequate treatment for the one who regularly assaults girls and animals at school. The reason given by the court? You can't make this up: I asked my wife for advice about medicating my son. My wife the child psychiatrist who has treated thousands of autistic kids over her 20 year career. In fact, my wife is the leading child psych in the area, and indeed she caught a medication error by the resident to whom my ex- occasionally takes me son to prove to the court that she's seeking treatment for him (though she lies).

In general, the judge blamed my wife for everything, and said that the kids should be parented by the parents, not the step-mom. Almost always, the complaint about spouses in a custody situation is that they distract one of the parents from parenting with their conjugal needs. The idea that it's a problem that the step-mom takes an interest in the children -- keeping in mind that she has been assaulted by my son and threatened with a knife twice -- is so ludicrous that I can't believe I just heard it. Obviously I couldn't have ever won this case because I was unaware of the principle that step-moms are bad. The judge said that I was not fit to be obtaining treatment for him because I'm not interested in the doctors' thoughts, that I'm only interested in boosting my wife. Not only is that untrue (and supported by precisely nothing in the record), but seriously? It is a bad thing for me to consult a child psychiatrist when thinking about my son's psychiatric problems?

2. There's now no question in my mind that the family court is biased against men. I've always discounted that idea; every person who loses a case finds some reason that the judge was anti-them. But this ruling is so loco that obviously the judge found the outcome she wanted and went with it. She called my ex-wife's testimony "credible" though it was contradicted by documents, by her own statements, and the testimony of our eldest son. I mean, I've been through this twice now and the judges have been absolutely nuts, just making up facts. It wasn't a slam dunk case for me; the judge could have held for my ex-wife by saying that I didn't carry my burden of proof. But instead she made a number of accusations against me, at my person, based on nothing. Literally nothing.

3. When we talk about men being disaffected and falling behind, I don't think family court gets enough attention. It is an incredibly alienating process. For one thing, it shouldn't be a judicial proceeding. You shouldn't need to pay $30K+ to settle a custody dispute (or in my previous case, 100K). You shouldn't need stupid shit like authenticating evidence from the school. The hearsay evidence rule needs to be relaxed, given that hearsay is literally the only way to get into evidence some of the most important information -- i.e. the children's own experience. But no, we do family court because shitty lawyers need jobs.

And at least where I live, it's super-biased against men. So men are told to be fathers; but when we try to be fathers, we are told to shove off. My kids desperately want more time with me, because I care about their problems and they look to me for guidance and I nurture their abilities. I get six overnights every four weeks, plus 2 hour visits on Wednesdays.

4. I bet this is a pretty sizeable factor in men feeling as though the government is out to get them. Because, on this issue, it kind of is. And there's no question that it's the liberals who are driving this, and in particular liberal women.

And perhaps most importantly, it's not only the litigants! It's the kids. My eldest son called the judge a bitch when he learned of the outcome. He was pissed off that the first judge didn't listen to him or give his views any credence; now that the next judge decided to swallow a pack of lies from his mom and disregard his testimony, he's decided that judges are full of shit. Hey great job, liberals!

My twins are going to be really pissed that they can't spend more time with me. And whose fault will it be? It is, in fact, the judge's fault. And my kids are growing up, seeing that men and fathers are being devalued and they will get the message. My eldest -- I have completely confidence in him, and he wouldn't let his experience here leech out into his other views. But my twins? I don't know.

5. This is an issue that liberals need to fix. But they won't, because there are too many mouths being fed by the current system. If Trump just feels a need to destroy things, family court would have been a much better target. It needs disruption in the worst way. (Of course, I would not trust Trump to find a replacement and yes I know it's a state issue).

Wow, I don't know what to say.

I do agree with you that the system is broken and needs repair.

I wish you the best and I hope that the court does what is best for your children.