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Sorry for your loss. You will never stop missing him. You will never stop regretting that you didn't spend more time with him. And I assure you that on his last lucid day, whenever that was, he regretted not spending more time with you. But there is never enough time for all the things we want to do. Just remember the feeling you have right now and try to focus on the things that bring you joy, stop obsessing over things you can't affect, and live each day as it comes, treasuring the joys and learning from the disappointments.