Lost my Dad last night

Sorry for your loss. You will never stop missing him. You will never stop regretting that you didn't spend more time with him. And I assure you that on his last lucid day, whenever that was, he regretted not spending more time with you. But there is never enough time for all the things we want to do. Just remember the feeling you have right now and try to focus on the things that bring you joy, stop obsessing over things you can't affect, and live each day as it comes, treasuring the joys and learning from the disappointments.
 
So sorry to hear that. I lost my dad, wow, 28 years ago now, and not a day goes by that I don’t think of him or wish he were around to talk about something.
Really?

It's weird for me as a parent dealing with my boys, because my parents -- especially my dad -- were/are abusive and thus I have no feelings at all for my father. I will be completely indifferent when he passes. I have some feelings for my mom but I doubt I will miss her. So I have no personal frame of reference for what my boys might think of me. I'm very close with my eldest son, but I've tended to think that he would get over my loss pretty quickly and not think of me too often. Which is what I would want. But maybe that's not right.

It's an important question because I've become less interested in my health the last few years, especially this last year. I feel like I've done my job if I get my boys to adulthood as good people. After that, I figure it's really just a question of balancing hedonism with longevity. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe my loss would be more impactful than I think.

Anyway, you must have lost your dad at a relatively young age, which must have been upsetting to you in light of your post here. That's a tragedy.

And also to the original poster, condolences.
 
Wasn't unexpected because he's been on a decline for a while now but there's still no way to prepare yourself for something like it. He's going to be a huge loss for our family. Him and my Mom were married for 60 years this year and she is going to be completely lost without him. She's not in good health, so it's probably going to be a short grieving period and then focusing on her well being.

We couldn't talk politics but I'd give anything to argue with him about it this morning.

You don't think about the true meaning of never until something like this happens and then it hits you like a ton of bricks.

Thanks for letting me express myself here.
My condolences, my friend. I can't add much to the wonderful advice that has already been shared. Hold onto those special memories of your father; help your mother through this sorrowful passage of life; and perhaps most importantly, be good to yourself and take time to sort through your own grief.

Our thoughts, best wishes, and prayers are with you during this difficult time and the days to follow. Don't hesitate to reach out if you need our help.
 
I'm very sorry for your loss. Experiencing the loss of friends, loved ones, family as you age is so hard. You're never truly ready for it even if it doesn't come as a surprise. Sending lover and comfort to you and your family.
 
Wasn't unexpected because he's been on a decline for a while now but there's still no way to prepare yourself for something like it. He's going to be a huge loss for our family. Him and my Mom were married for 60 years this year and she is going to be completely lost without him. She's not in good health, so it's probably going to be a short grieving period and then focusing on her well being.

We couldn't talk politics but I'd give anything to argue with him about it this morning.

You don't think about the true meaning of never until something like this happens and then it hits you like a ton of bricks.

Thanks for letting me express myself here.

I'm sure my dad's time is coming sooner rather than later as well.

I'm so sorry for your loss.
 
My mother was just diagnosed with terminal cancer (she's 79), I've been thinking about the loss of a parent quite a bit the past month. It's overwhelming, I'm sorry you are going through it Milom.
 
Really?

It's weird for me as a parent dealing with my boys, because my parents -- especially my dad -- were/are abusive and thus I have no feelings at all for my father. I will be completely indifferent when he passes. I have some feelings for my mom but I doubt I will miss her. So I have no personal frame of reference for what my boys might think of me. I'm very close with my eldest son, but I've tended to think that he would get over my loss pretty quickly and not think of me too often. Which is what I would want. But maybe that's not right.

It's an important question because I've become less interested in my health the last few years, especially this last year. I feel like I've done my job if I get my boys to adulthood as good people. After that, I figure it's really just a question of balancing hedonism with longevity. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe my loss would be more impactful than I think.

Anyway, you must have lost your dad at a relatively young age, which must have been upsetting to you in light of your post here. That's a tragedy.

And also to the original poster, condolences.
This thread is for @milom98 so I do not want to derail it, but it would be wonderful if it also opened a new perspective for you for how much you, as a good parent, may mean to your kids. Our kids aren’t always great at conveying things like that but take to heart that if you have loved and nurtured them, (for the most part) at least some part of them will always know it and benefit from it.
 
My condolences, milom. It's so hard to lose a parent. Both of mine have been gone a long time, I lost my dad before I was 30 and lost my mom before I was 40 and both left big holes in my life. Allow yourself to grieve, support your family, and come back here to vent if that helps.
 
So sorry for your loss Milom.

I hope you can find solace in all the good memories you have and embrace the rest of your family with love in this time of despair
 
Wasn't unexpected because he's been on a decline for a while now but there's still no way to prepare yourself for something like it. He's going to be a huge loss for our family. Him and my Mom were married for 60 years this year and she is going to be completely lost without him. She's not in good health, so it's probably going to be a short grieving period and then focusing on her well being.

We couldn't talk politics but I'd give anything to argue with him about it this morning.

You don't think about the true meaning of never until something like this happens and then it hits you like a ton of bricks.

Thanks for letting me express myself here.
Yeah, losing a parent sucks. Prayers that you find peace in your time of mourning.
 
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