Parenting

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aGDevil2k

aGDevil2k

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For the love of God tell me that middle school is the worst period of parenting...

I see people with their fake ass Facebook posts saying "happy 13th birthday to the most wonderful human ever" and I question if I'm raising Trump 2.0 and alone in misery....


I did hear for boys, 11-12 is the worst these days. I freaking hope that's true
 
My sons are 25 & 21 now.

For our 25 year old, the middle school/early HS years were challenging at times, but mainly because he started dating his now-fiance when they were in 8th grade. We just didn’t know how strict to be, and how much freedom to give them since they were so young. But as they got a little older we eased up some since it was obvious they were in it for the long haul.

Our 21 year old was a hurricane until about age 4, but is and always has been very sweet, and we genuinely haven’t had much trouble from him at all. He grads college in May and we still talk to him daily.
 
Kids that age are undergoing significant alterations in brain chemistry, hormones, etc and the result is a school environment that may well be a mental Hunger Games. Just a nightmare scenario for maintaining a healthy and supportive environment. My kids aren't there yet but I'm not looking forward to it.
 
aGDevil2k said:
For the love of God tell me that middle school is the worst period of parenting...

I see people with their fake ass Facebook posts saying "happy 13th birthday to the most wonderful human ever" and I question if I'm raising Trump 2.0 and alone in misery....


I did hear for boys, 11-12 is the worst these days. I freaking hope that's true
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Is that the reason boarding school seems more popular for 9th grade and up? Parents give up after 7th and 8th LOL?
 
gregh1 said:
Is that the reason boarding school seems more popular for 9th grade and up? Parents give up after 7th and 8th LOL?
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We legit just had this discussion!!!!

I just told him I don't care about his room anymore. I will save the stress and some of his college savings will go to new carpet, paint etc. Live in filth. Blame your life on ADHD....I give up.
 
rodoheel said:
Kids that age are undergoing significant alterations in brain chemistry, hormones, etc and the result is a school environment that may well be a mental Hunger Games. Just a nightmare scenario for maintaining a healthy and supportive environment. My kids aren't there yet but I'm not looking forward to it.
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I feel like your avatar

And elementary school, these days, does Jack shit to really prepare kids for middle school. No homework. No real grades. Nothing.

Almost halfway done with 6th grade and it can't end fast enough.
 
aGDevil2k said:
I used to think ADHD (while definitely over diagnosed) was mild. It most certainly isn't.

We avoided screens when young etc etc etc. But couldn't overcome genetics I guess 😂
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Research is showing that majority flavors of the Autism spectrum are genetic and as they're mapping genes to traits they're seeing that certain genes are expressed at later ages. So some character-combos might exhibit at early ages in one kid, then a different gene wrinkle (even if results in very similar behavior) in a different kid doesn't become exposed til a few years later.

ADHD is often inherited, i don't know if gene expression has interesting timelines there, but it is obviously a fact that things like hormones play a massive factor. Good luck!
 
gregh1 said:
Research is showing that majority flavors of the Autism spectrum are genetic and as they're mapping genes to traits they're seeing that certain genes are expressed at later ages. So some character-combos might exhibit at early ages in one kid, then a different gene wrinkle (even if results in very similar behavior) in a different kid doesn't become exposed til a few years later.

ADHD is often inherited, i don't know if gene expression has interesting timelines there, but it is obviously a fact that things like hormones play a massive factor. Good luck!
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And he's twice exceptional (AG/IG + ADHD) so it hid from us until late elementary.

And he's lazy and mouthy lol
 
aGDevil2k said:
We legit just had this discussion!!!!

I just told him I don't care about his room anymore. I will save the stress and some of his college savings will go to new carpet, paint etc. Live in filth. Blame your life on ADHD....I give up.
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You're going to need to replace the carpet by that point anyway.

We've let our daughters do as they want in their rooms, if we sell we'll have to paint over all the art on the walls.
 
UNCatTech said:
You're going to need to replace the carpet by that point anyway.

We've let our daughters do as they want in their rooms, if we sell we'll have to paint over all the art on the walls.
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It better last more than 6 years!!! He's the only one upstairs, and it was just installed 4 months ago
 
I’m by no means a bad parent, and in the grand scheme of things probably a very good parent, but I can’t help but think that I have failed as a parent in some respects. My kids are really good kids. They do well n school. They are loved by their teachers. They are kind to people. So they’ve turned out well thus far. But I feel like we didn’t spend enough time with them when they were really young.

My wife and I have demanding jobs. When they were younger, they had a nanny who was with them from 8:00 AM to 6:00 PM Monday through Friday (except for the hours they were in school). On weekdays back then, we spent about 1.5-2 hours with the kids and some of that was getting them ready for bed.

Our nanny was fantastic and still babysits for the kids, but she wasn’t a disciplinarian and was sort of like the doting grandmother who spoils the kids. I think our semi-absence in their early lives resulted in some bad habits that we have struggled to break.

And I feel like our work continues to get in the way of us being better parents. They are generally in an after school program until about 6:00 PM on days when they don’t have after school activities they need to get to. I feel like that deprives them of childhood joys of getting out of school and coming home at a normal time and either chilling or going out in the neighborhood and playing with other kids in the neighborhood. I feel like I’ve lost a lot of time I could have had with them, snd I can’t get it back. And as much as I have to work, my wife works all the time. She’s working right now as I type this, at 10:00 PM on a Saturday.

I realize this is something that most people deal with, but I still feel guilty.
 
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