Should I Stay or Should I Go Now...

NYCBlueBlood

NYCBlueBlood

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I'm trying to decide whether to look for a new job. I can't stand my boss. Her idea of managing a team is to bring everybody together and do cheesy teambuilding exercises, then pull them aside one by one and set them against each other in a hunger games-esque fight to be in her good book.

I can mostly ignore her because my CEO told her to leave me alone and let me do my thing... but she tightly controls everything I can or can't do for the team I manage, and she holds it over my head to keep me in check... and constantly tries to undermine my team by going behind my back and telling them I'm not asking for the things she's refusing to let me do for them.

I've nearly lost the most important person on my team twice because my boss outright lied to her and said I was blocking her promotion (when it was her doing it). She's also taken lately to doing regular connects with that lead, and spending most of it saying terrible things about me... then having connects with me where she acts like we're best buds and never has a single bad thing to say about my work.

My boss has been telling me for 5 years now that she plans to retire in 2 to 3 years... I don't believe her. She loves the power, and how the rest of our team has to kiss her ass to get ahead.

I've been with the company for 18 years. I have very good relationships with my CEO and CFO. They watch over me to make sure I'm personally fine, but I can't go whining to them with he said/ she said stuff about how my boss messes around with my team.

I figure I want to work another 8 to 10 years before I retire. My company has been struggling for last 3 years. Not a reflection on my company itself, our industry is just in a weird inflection point. I am confident things will turn around... but the "when" is very much TBD still.

My CEO still takes care of me better than most, but the state of our business has cut my bonus and stock grants A LOT the last couple years. The nature of my job makes it very easy for me to change industries, so I am not trapped in a down industry. But I also believe that when things get sorted out industry wide, we will be in for a good run for 5 or 6 years where I can make up for what I've lost.

So come on and let me know...
 
TLDR... Can't stand my boss... should I wait out her retirement (date TBD), or walk away from 18 years at current company and start something new?
 
NYCBlueBlood said:
I'm trying to decide whether to look for a new job. I can't stand my boss. Her idea of managing a team is to bring everybody together and do cheesy teambuilding exercises, then pull them aside one by one and set them against each other in a hunger games-esque fight to be in her good book.

I can mostly ignore her because my CEO told her to leave me alone and let me do my thing... but she tightly controls everything I can or can't do for the team I manage, and she holds it over my head to keep me in check... and constantly tries to undermine my team by going behind my back and telling them I'm not asking for the things she's refusing to let me do for them.

I've nearly lost the most important person on my team twice because my boss outright lied to her and said I was blocking her promotion (when it was her doing it). She's also taken lately to doing regular connects with that lead, and spending most of it saying terrible things about me... then having connects with me where she acts like we're best buds and never has a single bad thing to say about my work.

My boss has been telling me for 5 years now that she plans to retire in 2 to 3 years... I don't believe her. She loves the power, and how the rest of our team has to kiss her ass to get ahead.

I've been with the company for 18 years. I have very good relationships with my CEO and CFO. They watch over me to make sure I'm personally fine, but I can't go whining to them with he said/ she said stuff about how my boss messes around with my team.

I figure I want to work another 8 to 10 years before I retire. My company has been struggling for last 3 years. Not a reflection on my company itself, our industry is just in a weird inflection point. I am confident things will turn around... but the "when" is very much TBD still.

My CEO still takes care of me better than most, but the state of our business has cut my bonus and stock grants A LOT the last couple years. The nature of my job makes it very easy for me to change industries, so I am not trapped in a down industry. But I also believe that when things get sorted out industry wide, we will be in for a good run for 5 or 6 years where I can make up for what I've lost.

So come on and let me know...
Click to expand...
GIF by CBS
 
Find the new opportunity first -- then inform CEO/CFO the reason for your leaving.

Take new job, rock it, let old job come back and try to hire you for your current boss's job.

Or, CEO/CFO see that reality now, and promote you without having to leave.

But need that actual leverage point of a new job that you would want to take first. The rest falls into line after that...
 
Nothing in working life has the ability to destroy your work satisfaction and increase your day to day stress like an antagonistic manager. Given the ease you claim you can move jobs I would lock down interviews, get to the reference check stage, then communicate with the executive level about your plans. If they up your pay or offer you more incentives then great! If not then you move on. Life is short and suffering assholes requires massive incentives, for my values.

ETA: didn’t see Odd’s post before writing mine. Corporations are cutthroat and you need to be the same in turn.
 
NYCBlueBlood said:
TLDR... Can't stand my boss... should I wait out her retirement (date TBD), or walk away from 18 years at current company and start something new?
Click to expand...
It really sucks that we have to make such decisions.

I'm sorry that you have to deal with this, especially considering the factors.

I wish you the best, I wish I had some sage advise or resolutions to offer.
 
Oddball said:
Find the new opportunity first -- then inform CEO/CFO the reason for your leaving.

Take new job, rock it, let old job come back and try to hire you for your current boss's job.

Or, CEO/CFO see that reality now, and promote you without having to leave.

But need that actual leverage point of a new job that you would want to take first. The rest falls into line after that...
Click to expand...
I've started speaking to recruiters. No harm in that regardless of what I do. Unfortunately there is no real promotion opportunity for me. Only job up is my boss' job, and I do not want it... nor am I a good fit for it. My CEO gave me a good bump up on my stock grant for this year. I suspect he's aware of how I feel, though I'm quite careful not to play any cards until I'm ready to do something.
 
Find a new job, but be patient about it. I had a similar situation where my boss was nice to my face and then I found out he was undermining me and my team. Caught him in numerous lies, so I had it out with him and it left us in a situation where it was quite antagonistic. I felt like I had to make a move so I did, but the job I landed in was less than ideal. I spent about a year there when a client of mine asked me to join his company on their executive team and I've been here for almost ten years and it's been the best move I've ever made. So it worked out, but it could have gone a lot worse because I was impatient with the situation.
 
Bigs23 said:
Can you get a job making comparable money?

How much longer do you plan to work?
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Yes, I can get a good bump up if I leave. But I've spent 10 years building the current team I manage, and they are VERY good. If I leave I will have to start over. Truth be told, my 2 leads below me now do about 50% of what I had to do myself when I first started. They have grown A LOT since I first took this role.
 
pspsps said:
Nothing in working life has the ability to destroy your work satisfaction and increase your day to day stress like an antagonistic manager. Given the ease you claim you can move jobs I would lock down interviews, get to the reference check stage, then communicate with the executive level about your plans. If they up your pay or offer you more incentives then great! If not then you move on. Life is short and suffering assholes requires massive incentives, for my values.

ETA: didn’t see Odd’s post before writing mine. Corporations are cutthroat and you need to be the same in turn.
Click to expand...
We are definitely laying people off right now with longer tenure than me. My job is quite safe for the moment, but things can change fast in the corporate world. There are no guarantees.
 
finesse said:
Sounds like you're willing to let one person run you away from a pretty good situation with several others. I'd have to think really hard about the chances of bettering that situation vs. waiting it out.
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I've been waiting her out for a while. Unfortunately she gets more comfortable in her own job every year, and more willing to take chances at pushing me out. My guess is that she wants me to leave on my own so she can promote up my #2... then she can have complete control over my function.
 
Oddball said:
Find the new opportunity first -- then inform CEO/CFO the reason for your leaving.

Take new job, rock it, let old job come back and try to hire you for your current boss's job.

Or, CEO/CFO see that reality now, and promote you without having to leave.

But need that actual leverage point of a new job that you would want to take first. The rest falls into line after that...
Click to expand...
This is where I'm at, minus looking for the promotion since you said you don't want that job.

I'd also start documenting the more serious unprofessional things you're boss has done.

So long and short would be:
1. Get new job offer
2. Approach CEO/CFO to inform your unhappiness and willingness to leave. Share documentation of boss line overstepping if necessary. Say either they replace her or you leave.
3. If you have to leave make sure they know you'd consider returning once they realize they need to fire that boss because she sucks.
 
NYCBlueBlood said:
I've been waiting her out for a while. Unfortunately she gets more comfortable in her own job every year, and more willing to take chances at pushing me out. My guess is that she wants me to leave on my own so she can promote up my #2... then she can have complete control over my function.
Click to expand...
Quit your job or do what I did: never get a job and just live in your parents' basement. They'll die someday. DO YOU HEAR ME MOM AND DAD? YOU'RE GOING TO DIE AND THEN THIS WILL ALL BE MINE!
 
Enigma94 said:
Find a new job, but be patient about it. I had a similar situation where my boss was nice to my face and then I found out he was undermining me and my team. Caught him in numerous lies, so I had it out with him and it left us in a situation where it was quite antagonistic. I felt like I had to make a move so I did, but the job I landed in was less than ideal. I spent about a year there when a client of mine asked me to join his company on their executive team and I've been here for almost ten years and it's been the best move I've ever made. So it worked out, but it could have gone a lot worse because I was impatient with the situation.
Click to expand...
I have no intention of confronting her. In order to call her out for undermining me with my team, I'll have to be open that my team is telling me everything she says about me... and she is the type to retaliate against my team and punish them for telling me things. She is big on loyalty tests. She likes telling people things she shouldn't, then watching to see what they do with it.
 
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