Should James Bond go bisexual?

S

superrific

Master of the ZZLverse
Messages
12,554
Here's an idea for the next movie. The Bond girl is especially fetching but Bond only sees her in long dresses. After he finds out that she's somehow involved in the bad guy's plot, Bond confronts her in her dressing room. It's revealed that she's undercover CIA or whatever, and they start to make out. When he starts to undress her, there's a Crying Game reveal as he pulls down panties to find a small but hard penis. She looks at him hopefully; he says, "shaken, not stirred indeed," and kisses her again as they fall onto the bed.

What do you think? I think it might revitalize the franchise a bit. If they are really desperate, they could add in a threesome with zombie Vesper Lynd but to me that seems like going too far.
 
superrific said:
Here's an idea for the next movie. The Bond girl is especially fetching but Bond only sees her in long dresses. After he finds out that she's somehow involved in the bad guy's plot, Bond confronts her in her dressing room. It's revealed that she's undercover CIA or whatever, and they start to make out. When he starts to undress her, there's a Crying Game reveal as he pulls down panties to find a small but hard penis. She looks at him hopefully; he says, "shaken, not stirred indeed," and kisses her again as they fall onto the bed.

What do you think? I think it might revitalize the franchise a bit. If they are really desperate, they could add in a threesome with zombie Vesper Lynd but to me that seems like going too far.
Click to expand...
If you're gonna have Bond go bisexual, it shouldn't be with someone who presents as a "confused" or transgender character. If you do, you're gonna lose the bisexual reveal to the transgender outrage.

If you're gonna have Bond get down with a dude, it has to be the hottest guy in the movie (after Bond, of course) and it has to be very intentional.

And even that is going to piss off a lot of the conservative/incel folks. They've already lost Star Wars, if you take James Bond from them you might have actual terrorist events.
 
SnoopRob said:
If you're gonna have Bond go bisexual, it shouldn't be with someone who presents as a "confused" or transgender character. If you do, you're gonna lose the bisexual reveal to the transgender outrage.

If you're gonna have Bond get down with a dude, it has to be the hottest guy in the movie (after Bond, of course) and it has to be very intentional.

And even that is going to piss off a lot of the conservative/incel folks. They've already lost Star Wars, if you take James Bond from them you might have actual terrorist events.
Click to expand...
I guess I wrote my joke poorly. I thought "shaken not stirred indeed" made the joke obvious, but apparently not. Anyway, I agree with you about how to do it if that was the plan. I think I might have been reversing the tables and baiting ZenMode.
 
superrific said:
I guess I wrote my joke poorly. I thought "shaken not stirred indeed" made the joke obvious, but apparently not.
Click to expand...
I thought it was a fun thought experiment, if not an interesting suggestion. 🤷‍♂️

The joke was obvious, but it's not like Bond doesn't specialize in pretty bad jokes. I could see the Bond folks doing that kind of joke in the right circumstance.
 
superrific said:
. She looks at him hopefully; he says, "shaken, not stirred indeed," and kisses her again as they fall onto the bed.
Click to expand...
I'm sure he'd be shaken, and probably pissed, as most any man would.
superrific said:
What do you think? I think it might revitalize the franchise a bit. If they are really desperate, they could add in a threesome with zombie Vesper Lynd but to me that seems like going too far.
Click to expand...
Stare Staring GIF
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top