The Singles Thread

I could link more extravagant photos but will keep it there. Like another poster pointed out, it's largely a trap. If seems too good to be true, it typically is. I'll have to figure that out.

I will say, however, Tinder here in the states what I call "swiping into the void." Because guys outnumber gals on the app by at least 3 to 1. So it's just useless.

Switch over to passport mode and you get a nice rush. But I know it's probably still the same there as it is most everywhere.

Use my brain. My big brain, at least. Lol.
 
I didn't mean to take over this thread with my own experiences/intentions.

I really want to hear from other singles how it's going for you, be you a man or woman or otherwise.

I've got this thing now where I squat before a table of women when I'm talking to them. They eventually ask why I'm doing that, and I explain that it's because they're in a vulnerable position. And I don't wish to be intimidating. Because I understand how it must be for them.

That being said, hasn't worked thus far. Lol. But that's okay. I'll continue to do it, because I believe it. I don't want to intimidate them. Just want to talk.
 
MendotoManteo said:
I didn't mean to take over this thread with my own experiences/intentions.

I really want to hear from other singles how it's going for you, be you a man or woman or otherwise.

I've got this thing now where I squat before a table of women when I'm talking to them. They eventually ask why I'm doing that, and I explain that it's because they're in a vulnerable position. And I don't wish to be intimidating. Because I understand how it must be for them.

That being said, hasn't worked thus far. Lol. But that's okay. I'll continue to do it, because I believe it. I don't want to intimidate them. Just want to talk.
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This approach has since worked, by the way.
 
gregh1 said:
Shoot, roll with it. I'm following along on the chronicles. There's gotta be some good stories for us soon based on the setup you've given, whether local or in Columbia :⁠-⁠)
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Thank you! Pretty, big booty gals with the hair of midnight have a way to my heart, so to speak. I'll keep you all informed about the minor details, at least. Still a ways to go.

But I am serious: I don't want to hijack the thread. I started it with intentions of singles talking about their experiences. Their dilemmas. Their expectations. Be they men, women, or elsewise. I booked the trip to Cartagena later that night, almost on a whim.
 
I read the thread title as “The Singlets Thread.”

Oh well, I’ll save these selfies for another time.
 
I talked with a girl at the bar last weekend. She gave me her number. But didn't really communicate after.

Somehow, she was there last night, and I made an absolute fool of myself. Nothing bad but just stupid. I thought I'd surely not hear from her again.

And you know what? She sends me this sweet text about how she just wants to be friends. My heart melted. I thought I was so dumb that surely she would never talk to me again.

I sent her back an equally sweet message about how important her text was to me. That she just acknowledged what I had attempted, if nothing else.

Sent her an invite to come out with her girlfriends to help be my wing women at the local Latin bar. Come out and dance. Whitney Houston style.

Nothing wrong with that.
 
It's very hard being single, especially after a certain age. But one thing I've learned is that you can never give up. Because you don't know what the hell will happen afterwards. Talk with people. Be a dude, should you be a dude. And just have fun.
 
Cartagena? Oh my. Are you flying solo, or do you have an experienced crew going with you?

First of all, get the hell off Tinder. You will find plenty of tanned skinned, curvy dark haired girls all over the place. Tinder girls are looking for newbie gringo suckers.

You will find girls everywhere. Most will hook up with you no problem. They will also expect to be paid. They are not looking for gringo novios or even dates, they are looking for money. Then they are looking for money when you get home, for a sick papa, baby, etc.

A few pointers. Do not leave your drink unattended, ever. Do not accept a drink from a stranger. Do not share a cigarette or anything of the like from another. Don't carry your wallet outside, only take colombian pesos you need. Scopalamine (Devil's Breath) is rampant down there. It will leave you in a serious fog, freely giving your bank card codes and letting them take whatever they want. You will wake up a day or two later, if you are lucky.

I've never been to Cartagena, but Medellin many times. Medellin is amazing but has the same issues with women. Do not wear nice clothes, jewelry, or watch, and keep your cell phone hidden. You will be bombarded on the beach. Not just girls, but every panhandler and swindler around if you have light skin.

Don't be shocked when you see prices. 100 Mil (or 100,000 pesos) is like $40. Everything is super cheap down there.

I hope you can speak some Spanish. Colombia can be really fun, it has some amazing places to visit. But you better have some street smarts, Colombian street smarts. You would be better off starting in Medellin. Yes, some really bad barrios (neighborhoods), but also nice tourist English speaking areas.

Medellin is a much bigger city with amazing climate. It is fairly high elevation in a valley, with mountains all around. it is in the 70's to 80 year round. The "city of eternal spring." Comuna 13 is up one of those mountains and is where Pablo Escobar and his cartel hid out.

There are some absolutely gorgeous women down there, that are equally freaky. Cartagena is pronounced "Carta-hena." Medellin is "Meda-jean."

Check in here often and let us know you are still alive, or at least still have some money or a credit card.

You can easily pull many Bill Belichick moves down there, you could also wind up dead. You are much better off in a nicer hotel with a security guard. Any chicas you bring back have to have their ID copied at front desk. You also have to escort your lady friend out for her to leave. At an AirBnB, you are in the wild jungle alone, and they may not find you for many days.

Have fun but be very safe!
 
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fuck marriage pounding as much puud as possible is what life is all about.....not marital mental and genital slavery. just another very flawed and very failed stupid institution our society conditions us into.
 
Kraftyheel89 said:
Cartagena? Oh my. Are you flying solo, or do you have an experienced crew going with you?

First of all, get the hell off Tinder. You will find plenty of tanned skinned, curvy dark haired girls all over the place. Tinder girls are looking for newbie gringo suckers.

You will find girls everywhere. Most will hook up with you no problem. They will also expect to be paid. They are not looking for gringo novios or even dates, they are looking for money. Then they are looking for money when you get home, for a sick papa, baby, etc.

A few pointers. Do not leave your drink unattended, ever. Do not accept a drink from a stranger. Do not share a cigarette or anything of the like from another. Don't carry your wallet outside, only take colombian pesos you need. Scopalamine (Devil's Breath) is rampant down there. It will leave you in a serious fog, freely giving your bank card codes and letting them take whatever they want. You will wake up a day or two later, if you are lucky.

I've never been to Cartagena, but Medellin many times. Medellin is amazing but has the same issues with women. Do not wear nice clothes, jewelry, or watch, and keep your cell phone hidden. You will be bombarded on the beach. Not just girls, but every panhandler and swindler around if you have light skin.

Don't be shocked when you see prices. 100 Mil (or 100,000 pesos) is like $40. Everything is super cheap down there.

I hope you can speak some Spanish. Colombia can be really fun, it has some amazing places to visit. But you better have some street smarts, Colombian street smarts. You would be better off starting in Medellin. Yes, some really bad barrios (neighborhoods), but also nice tourist English speaking areas.

Medellin is a much bigger city with amazing climate. It is fairly high elevation in a valley, with mountains all around. it is in the 70's to 80 year round. The "city of eternal spring." Comuna 13 is up one of those mountains and is where Pablo Escobar and his cartel hid out.

There are some absolutely gorgeous women down there, that are equally freaky. Cartagena is pronounced "Carta-hena." Medellin is "Meda-jean."

Check in here often and let us know you are still alive, or at least still have some money or a credit card.

You can easily pull many Bill Belichick moves down there, you could also wind up dead. You are much better off in a nicer hotel with a security guard. Any chicas you bring back have to have their ID copied at front desk. You also have to escort your lady friend out for her to leave. At an AirBnB, you are in the wild jungle alone, and they may not find you for many days.

Have fun but be very safe!
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Thank you, Krafty! This is great advice, and I'll certainly follow most of your recommendations, especially regarding safety.

No, I've never been and am going alone. Mi espanol no bueno but I'm learning some. Got Duolingo Max so I can converse with the AI characters.

I would love to go to Medellin but will spend all my time in Cartagena. Regarding my AirBnB, it is apparently an apartment in a gated complex that requires a code. It is in the Old City (which is apparently considered safe), right next to the University of Cartagena. I think it should be fine.

Cartagena has a strong tourist presence, so despite my deficiencies in Spanish, I imagine I should be able to locate English speakers if in dire need.

Regarding the women, I totally get you. I am certainly not going to be looking for prostitutes, but I realize that many of these women will have certain expectations of a gringo who obviously has a decent amount of money, at least relative to them. While I am a complete sucker for tanned, curvy women with the hair of midnight, I will try my best to avoid situations that may put me in a predicament.

One thing I'd like to know from you is how do you typically pack? A friend of mine, who is much more travelled, just brought it to my attention this past week that my bags will need to be re-checked since I'm using United for the main flights but Copa for the Latin American connections. I did not realize this. Going is a relatively short layover in Panama City, and I do not think I'll have time to re-check. So I'm going to just do carry on. What would you say are the essentials I should take (and can get through TSA), and is it easy to get things like toothpaste, saline solution (contacts), deodorant, etc. down there?
 
OGtruthhurts said:
fuck marriage pounding as much puud as possible is what life is all about.....not marital mental and genital slavery. just another very flawed and very failed stupid institution our society conditions us into.
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I don't know if you're being serious, but marriage is what a couple makes of it. I wouldn't think of it as an institution.

In truth, I am still married after four years now of separation. My wife and I remain good friends, but the marriage is over. We're both two weirdos, however, so it draws on. I intend to finalize the divorce this year, finally.

We had an open relationship, which worked fine after the initial jealousies of discovering a new form of relationship passed. Assuming you aren't completely cynical, I would consider finding a partner who shares your perspective on "genital slavery," as you call it. Granted, they're not growing on trees, but there are many out there.
 
MendotoManteo said:
I don't know if you're being serious, but marriage is what a couple makes of it. I wouldn't think of it as an institution.

In truth, I am still married after four years now of separation. My wife and I remain good friends, but the marriage is over. We're both two weirdos, however, so it draws on. I intend to finalize the divorce this year, finally.

We had an open relationship, which worked fine after the initial jealousies of discovering a new form of relationship passed. Assuming you aren't completely cynical, I would consider finding a partner who shares your perspective on "genital slavery," as you call it. Granted, they're not growing on trees, but there are many out there.
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No advice needed. Marriage as an institution is a huge failure look at the stats. Youre failed 'marriage' is just one of the over 50/50 failure rate. do it again if you are such a huge proponent is my advice to you........ dont forget to flip the coin beforehand lol

just lucky and glad my parents shielded me from all those stupid conditioned societal norms as a child.
 
OGtruthhurts said:
No advice needed. Marriage as an institution is a huge failure look at the stats. Youre failed 'marriage' is just one of the over 50/50 failure rate. do it again if you are such a huge proponent is my advice to you........ dont forget to flip the coin beforehand lol

just lucky and glad my parents shielded me from all those stupid conditioned societal norms as a child.
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I get you. I have often thought about the 50/50 failure rate. That stat seems ingrained in our cultural lexicon concerning our thoughts on marriage. However, I saw a study recently that stated this is not true. That, in fact, somewhere around only 25% (if even that much) are ending in divorce. At least over the past few years.

Perhaps the statistics are trending differently now, assuming the 50/50 thing was ever true. It surprised me, because my notion (uninformed) was that Covid had destroyed a lot of marriages due to the proximity it enforced. That's apparently not the case.
 
MendotoManteo said:
I get you. I have often thought about the 50/50 failure rate. That stat seems ingrained in our cultural lexicon concerning our thoughts on marriage. However, I saw a study recently that stated this is not true. That, in fact, somewhere around only 25% (if even that much) are ending in divorce. At least over the past few years.

Perhaps the statistics are trending differently now, assuming the 50/50 thing was ever true. It surprised me, because my notion (uninformed) was that Covid had destroyed a lot of marriages due to the proximity it enforced. That's apparently not the case.
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MendotoManteo said:
i would say its a lot over 50%...and of the ones that remain married maybe half of those are truly happy....maybe. jump back into it...best of luck with it.
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Whatever the statistical case, I would not say my marriage was/is a failure. Yes, it will end soon, and yes, we are no longer romantically invested with one another. But it gave me this wonderful person, who is still and will remain a great friend. I'm so happy that she's still in my life. And, had we not gotten married, I doubt that would be the case.
 
the secret is finding someone whose crazy matches yours and don't settle. Don't overlook shit that'll irritate the fuck out of you 5-7-10 years down the road simply because you're in limerence. It's gonna take time but don't speed shit up simply bc you don't want to be alone.

It took me a decade after my divorce was final. My ex who didn't even make it a year as a single person married her boss and is unbelievably miserable. Me, OTOH, I didn't date anyone for a few years then after 2 women whose crazy was above the hot/crazy scale, I lucked out and found the love of my life. It's been a blissful 4 years of experiences that I could only have wished before we met. We're in no rush to get married but pretty much are. She wants to teach in Alaska and I moved 2 hours away but we're making it work.
 
NOVAHEEL13 said:
the secret is finding someone whose crazy matches yours and don't settle. Don't overlook shit that'll irritate the fuck out of you 5-7-10 years down the road simply because you're in limerence. It's gonna take time but don't speed shit up simply bc you don't want to be alone.

It took me a decade after my divorce was final. My ex who didn't even make it a year as a single person married her boss and is unbelievably miserable. Me, OTOH, I didn't date anyone for a few years then after 2 women whose crazy was above the hot/crazy scale, I lucked out and found the love of my life. It's been a blissful 4 years of experiences that I could only have wished before we met. We're in no rush to get married but pretty much are. She wants to teach in Alaska and I moved 2 hours away but we're making it work.
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That's great, Nova! Happy for you!

Yes, don't settle. And always be yourself, provided you're actually looking for a relationship. Pretending accomplishes nothing, otherwise.
 
MendotoManteo said:
That's great, Nova! Happy for you!

Yes, don't settle. And always be yourself, provided you're actually looking for a relationship. Pretending accomplishes nothing, otherwise.
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indeed! The only caveat is don't be so rigid as to not compromise entirely or be so narrow focused that makes matches run from you. The other side of that

A friend of mine (who graduated HS with my GF and introduced us) is trying too damn hard to have their person fit to what he wants and he never does anything they want but he's now gone through everyone who would even be close to someone good for him and is now going into the territory of being with people he has zero business being and it's difficult to watch.
 
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