Do the Right Thing

[HeelingAg]

This. My in laws are Trumpers. Everything has to be on their terms. They “just want their family to be together” as long as that is at their house when they are available. Never would come to seattle but show up day 1 when we moved back to nc. My wife canceled going to their house for Thanksgiving yesterday, just couldn’t pretend any more. But their response was just that “politics shouldn’t come between love of family etc”

Because they're terminally selfish. 50% of the country, at least, has end-stage main character syndrome.

 

[IncognitoJones]

This will take less than two years to see, with purest fidelity.

exactly. why not wait with the holier than thou bullshit until after his administration takes over the country? if you still believe it then, good for you. for the rest of us, fuck them forever.

 

[Centerpiece]

I am all out of empathy for MAGA. My MAGA brother who is dealing with long COVID because he didn’t get vaccinated had surgery yesterday to remove a cancerous tumor (supposedly an easy one to fix) and then had to be rushed to the hospital afterward due to chest pains (likely related to long covid). I am far more worried about the future of our country to worry about his self inflicted MAGA induced problems.

I just hope he dies before me so he isn’t running around my funeral talking about whether or not I am saved.

And I get that too. I have a brother like that as well. But he lives in another town and we've been estranged since the second Obama term. Should he reach out, I'll do the next "right" thing.

 

[Centerpiece]

While I appreciate this sentiment, doing those things hasn't brought joy. It's brought a dependency on pleasing people who mostly only care to the extent that they can get something from the deal. When I take stock of those I help and the places I give, I pretty quickly realize it's little more than grift...and it isnt just them who have done it wrong. Its me too. I gave and I did because of the good feeling of the praise. I didn't do it altruistically. So, for me, the "next right thing" is to withdraw from all of that. Those people and organizations (including UNC athletics) will need to figure it out without me and I'll need to figure out my identity without constantly needing to generate approval.

And this too, may be the next "right" thing for you to do personally. There are degrees of doing what is right - you have to take care of yourself first and foremost. It's like putting on the oxygen mask in an aircraft - first on yourself - before helping others.

 

[Centerpiece]

Doing the right thing is not the American thing to do anymore. I'm gonna get mine is more like it.

This is definitely true for DJTrumpf... and most - if not all - of his followers. Especially the 'I voted for him for tax breaks and the economy' kind

 

[ICFree]

It’s funny how the people whining about friendship being more important than politics would never change their politics to save a friendship.

Some of them can't even change the subject. A trump loving cousin who I don't bother with anymore was this way. I didn't want to disassociate and we had plenty of other things in common we could talk about. We didn't have to talk politics and I communicated as much and he agreed. Yet he couldn't abide by that.

He'd try to bring it up almost instantly when we'd see each other. Haaaa Kevin McCarthy thought he was going to fund the government and we showed him. Biden sending 40,000 IRS agents. I'd continuously shrug it off and deflect the conversation to another place. He just couldn't. The last time I spoke with him was when I went to check in on him during a particularly rough time for him this past winter. Rolled one to smoke with him and at some point before we were done he was launched into a pretty passionate Putin speech(who he loves by the way and had previously tried to bring up as 'just a good ole dude')praising him and just regurgitating Putin propaganda. He went on some other right wing spiel about the middle class and how Biden had killed it. I just remember mentally checking out on him right then and there. I didn't bother responding to any of his shit. I let him talk and tire himself out like he was a child. I finished smoking with him, took the conversation to a few non political places. Things we used to talk about and share together and would have not 10 to 15 years prior. Let things it end on a normal note. Told him if he needs me for anything to give me a holler.

I don't know that I exactly feel like I cut my friend/family member out of my life. He isn't remotely the guy I knew before.

ETA- I could've probably put that in the family thread. I just don't know what the next right thing is.

 

[Centerpiece]

Some of them can't even change the subject. A trump loving cousin who I don't bother with anymore was this way. I didn't want to disassociate and we had plenty of other things in common we could talk about. We didn't have to talk politics and I communicated as much and he agreed. Yet he couldn't abide by that.

He'd try to bring it up almost instantly when we'd see each other. Haaaa Kevin McCarthy thought he was going to fund the government and we showed him. Biden sending 40,000 IRS agents. I'd continuously shrug it off and deflect the conversation to another place. He just couldn't. The last time I spoke with him was when I went to check in on him during a particularly rough time for him this past winter. Rolled one to smoke with him and at some point before we were done he was launched into a pretty passionate Putin speech(who he loves by the way and had previously tried to bring up as 'just a good ole dude')praising him and just regurgitating Putin propaganda. He went on some other right wing spiel about the middle class and how Biden had killed it. I just remember mentally checking out on him right then and there. I didn't bother responding to any of his shit. I let him talk and tire himself out like he was a child. I finished smoking with him, took the conversation to a few non political places. Things we used to talk about and share together and would have not 10 to 15 years prior. Let things it end on a normal note. Told him if he needs me for anything to give me a holler.

I don't know that I exactly feel like I cut my friend/family member out of my life. He isn't remotely the guy I knew before.

ETA- I could've probably put that in the family thread. I just don't know what the next right thing is.

The next right thing will present itself daily. It doesn’t have to be anything big… but it could be. Just go about our daily lives and opportunities to be thoughtful and helpful will manifest. Simple stuff like I put in the OP… see a bit of trash? Stoop over, pick it up and deposit in the nearest trash bin.
Write a small check to a charity of your choice.
Volunteer at the soup kitchen.
Tip the waitress a bit more than you normally do.
Buy your buddy a beer next time without asking, or meaning for him to get the next round. Pick up the tab for the whole table.
Buy some flowers at the grocery store for your wife, and buy a second bouquet and give it to the little old lady in the parking lot… I’ve done that several times, you won’t believe the smile you’ll get, and they’ll get a little tear running down their cheek… and you’ll drive away feeling like the Grinch at the end of the movie because your heart just grew 3 sizes too big.

 

[BubbaOtis]

How is that possible, given that you support a political movement that embodies just that behavior more than any other movement in modern American history? I mean, this is just laughable.

Maybe you can't imagine it, but you do it every single day. Every single time you defend Trump, you are endorsing the idea that there is an "enemy within" who needs to be fought and suppressed -- the enemy within being defined solely by political views. So which is it? You can't have it both ways. I mean, you can think you can, but don't be surprised when other people see through the bullshit.

This is why people think MAGA is motivated by hate and little else. Because every single alternate explanation MAGA world offers is obviously false and does not remotely explain what they show us on a daily basis.

When did I defend Trump?

 

[hedge]

But, Donald Trump is a morally repugnant person who ran a nakedly racist, sexist campaign and voting for him is a deal breaker for me. You don’t have to see it that way, but I do

 

[superrific]

When did I defend Trump?

Did you vote for Kamala?

 

[Callatoroy]

I am all out of empathy for MAGA. My MAGA brother who is dealing with long COVID because he didn’t get vaccinated had surgery yesterday to remove a cancerous tumor (supposedly an easy one to fix) and then had to be rushed to the hospital afterward due to chest pains (likely related to long covid). I am far more worried about the future of our country to worry about his self inflicted MAGA induced problems.

I just hope he dies before me so he isn’t running around my funeral talking about whether or not I am saved.

A great human you seem to be.

 

[Callatoroy]

In normal times I would agree. If this were about them voting for Reagan or either Bush I would just chalk it up as a difference of opinion based on different life experiences.

I can’t do that with MAGA.

Your problem is that you don't have a clue who maga is. maga is the worst of what you see at his rallies. Most trump voters have never set foot in his rallies and don't approve of his character issues. But that would take a little effort to identify just who his voters are. Seems you would rather take the lazy route and have your lying media mislead you over and over.

 

[EyeballKid]

Your problem is that you don't have a clue who maga is. maga is the worst of what you see at his rallies. Most trump voters have never set foot in his rallies and don't approve of his character issues. But that would take a little effort to identify just who his voters are. Seems you would rather take the lazy route and have your lying media mislead you over and over.

Voting for him is kinda a big stamp of approval for his “character issues.” One has to pull some serious mental and moral gymnastics to pull the lever for a felon, serial adulterer, sexual abusing con man with a documented history of fleecing investors and clients, stiffing contractors, and employing undocumented workers. That’s to say nothing of his total disregard for our constitution and democratic norms, which you “patriots” claim to hold dear.

 

[ICFree]

Your problem is that you don't have a clue who maga is. maga is the worst of what you see at his rallies. Most trump voters have never set foot in his rallies and don't approve of his character issues. But that would take a little effort to identify just who his voters are. Seems you would rather take the lazy route and have your lying media mislead you over and over.

How would you know he doesn't? Your problem is you just don't know who liberals/leftists are! See how easy that is. Us with maga family members have a pretty good idea of who they are. I'm around and have been around more maga than I care to admit nearly my whole life. The media doesn't tell us who you guys are, you do that and you do it all the time. You all also have this idea that the media has told us who trump is and how to think about him. Which is absurd. I let him tell me and show me. I also didn't like him before he got into politics and knew he was a cosplaying businessman pos. That was when the media was telling me to love him too. Mainstream media is why you all think he is a great businessman.

 

[grimes70]

Not gonna change me much. I've tried to avoid negative people my whole life. Most MAGAs I would put in that class.

At the same time I have different cohorts I associate and keep up with. One from my Raleigh growing up days and another, college dorm days, are the closest.

Both have a couple Rs, not MAGAS, who voted for Trump and some mixed down ballot too. One is my oldest and best friend since the age if 5. We don't discuss politics other than a joke here or there.

Another, the most right of all, has through the years, helped a guy who had a bad addiction to crack problem with getting him work and some $ during and after he got straight. He took in another couple whose house burned down for a few months. And currently he is visiting another old friend (solid D) who is going through the cancer/chemo ordeal more than anyone else in our group. Not in any way religious. He is a very good human being. Yet, the most "progressive" person I know won't talk to him or invite him to get togethers. Every 2 months or so he and I have been enjoying an oyster and beer fest over many, many years.

Avoid politics when needed...

 

[Lando]

I can't imagine hating or writing off anyone over their political views, possibly because my own cynicism makes me able to understand that their decision on the lesser of the two evils might be based on a different perspective than mine. How exactly does their decision diminish your life in any meaningful way? The price you pay for your own freedom to choose is that they also have the same freedom.

Then don't write anyone off over political views. And I would suggest accepting that others have the freedom to make a different choice.

I'm somewhat stunned at how many people openly admit that all they bring to relationships is a genetic similarity or a sense of inertia.

 

[BoonetheAiredale]

I grew up in Bladen County. Most of the people I was/am friends with still live there. Those of my age cohort did all the normal things...go to church, still try to get in girls pants, hunt, help each other out, look out at the big world with a limited view, etc.

I went to school at Harrells Christian Academy, for my last two years, and had a lovely if very white good time. People were nice enough, it was religion lite mostly at school with regular religious guidance fighting teenage hormones. Had friends from Warsaw to Kelly.

In the recent past Mark Robinson visited Harrells Christian Academy, Bladen County went 51% for Mark Robinson and 60% for Trump. If this is the maga I know then I am not sure I want or need to know the other maga folks.

I get that there has been multi-decade growing sense of desperation growing in places like Bladen County. I've seen it. There are very few ways I can see Bladen County rebounding to some sort previous "better" life. So I understand and can appreciate the quiet desperation of the "good" maga. But...if you have to throw away every shred of your "vaunted" morality and sense of religious guidance to be a good person to vote for perceived policies that will somehow magically change the county's direction then it feels more like a pyrrhic victory.

I mean the majority of Bladen County people voted for Mark Robinson and I'm not sure I understand his "economic plan" appeal. A Christian private school, my alma mater, proudly had him come and talk to students...as what? Some sort of guiding light? What kind of gordian knot does a person have to tie themselves into to support Trump and Robinson and still have the temerity to look for and demand moral standards. Please feel free to explain how the quiet, stressed out, "good" maga live in that extraordinarily bifurcated world.

 

[4heels4evr]

they (think they) hate ME; but they really hate me because I care about the ones less furniturate than them ....

 

[mpaer]

And I get that too. I have a brother like that as well. But he lives in another town and we've been estranged since the second Obama term. Should he reach out, I'll do the next "right" thing.

I have a Brother several Hundred miles away We text Carolina sports about 3 times a week. But politics-oh no I am saddened that I don't know his grandkids very well-or his lovely children His "roots" in MAGA were Newtthe Poot when he lived in an Atlanta Burb