Mental health...

[Bigs23]

Do the things that bring you joy.
Eliminate all of those in your control that take your joy.
Minimize the unavoidable negatives in your life. Minimize how you prioritize them and the energy you give them.

Simply put do the things you want to do and screw everything else (as much as possible).

Get the help you need (meds, therapy).

Money doesn't matter as much as you think it does. Time is way more valuable.

You only get one.

 

[superrific]

This is where I am. I don't even think about suicide, because I want to be here, but I do want to figure out how to live a more peaceful life.

I don't sleep well and I'm anxious most of the time. It's exhausting. But I've started preparing for the job search and we've started the divorce. I really hope the company has the voluntary separation program again next year, so I can just move on.

1. Are you taking any anti-anxiety medicine?

2. I take a benzo nightly for sleep and have for almost two decades. It helps with sleep and anxiety, and it's cheap and easy. I would recommend making sure it's a temporary thing and not a permanent treatment, as it became for me. It's not crippling; it's just annoying in some ways. I had a lot of complicating factors that led me down this particular path. If I had a higher dose it might be more of a problem. At a low dose for a limited period of time, it has some efficacy and unlike other meds, it basically hits immediately.

3. Anxiety is exhausting.

4. It's important not to withdraw into a shell. I know, easier said than done. Way easier. But try to stay socially active, at least a little. I got into Magic The Gathering for a while after my divorce (my son and I played a lot). It's not an amazing social activity but it did get me out of the house and into a room with other people enjoying myself. I would not recommend that now (it's moved mostly online, which is bad in a number of ways) and of course the specific activity varies from person to person. I liked Magic because it has by far the most complicated set of rules of any game I've ever seen -- like an order of magnitude more complex -- and that sort of intellectual challenge is enjoyable for me. For you it might be a different game, or not a game, or something else entirely, or who knows.

5. The point is to do stuff. And I know that's fucking hard. There are all sorts of narratives that stare you down. What if I go to the game store and it sucks and then I've just made myself more miserable? What if I'm so depressed that I actually ruin things for other people and then they don't like me? What if I can't enjoy myself and will just end up feeling like a fool? Some of those narratives are flat false. Some of them are anxiety talking. Some of them are actually true and valid points. But it's important to push those fears aside.

 

[UNCatTech]

1. Are you taking any anti-anxiety medicine?

2. I take a benzo nightly for sleep and have for almost two decades. It helps with sleep and anxiety, and it's cheap and easy. I would recommend making sure it's a temporary thing and not a permanent treatment, as it became for me. It's not crippling; it's just annoying in some ways. I had a lot of complicating factors that led me down this particular path. If I had a higher dose it might be more of a problem. At a low dose for a limited period of time, it has some efficacy and unlike other meds, it basically hits immediately.

3. Anxiety is exhausting.

4. It's important not to withdraw into a shell. I know, easier said than done. Way easier. But try to stay socially active, at least a little. I got into Magic The Gathering for a while after my divorce (my son and I played a lot). It's not an amazing social activity but it did get me out of the house and into a room with other people enjoying myself. I would not recommend that now (it's moved mostly online, which is bad in a number of ways) and of course the specific activity varies from person to person. I liked Magic because it has by far the most complicated set of rules of any game I've ever seen -- like an order of magnitude more complex -- and that sort of intellectual challenge is enjoyable for me. For you it might be a different game, or not a game, or something else entirely, or who knows.

5. The point is to do stuff. And I know that's fucking hard. There are all sorts of narratives that stare you down. What if I go to the game store and it sucks and then I've just made myself more miserable? What if I'm so depressed that I actually ruin things for other people and then they don't like me? What if I can't enjoy myself and will just end up feeling like a fool? Some of those narratives are flat false. Some of them are anxiety talking. Some of them are actually true and valid points. But it's important to push those fears aside.

I've never been prescribed medication for stress or anxiety.

Based on my reading there are a few things I'm considering self prescribing.

 

[05C40]

I'm exhausted. I need four months off work to recover.

I want to take a coast to coast train ride.

I have always wanted to take a coast to coast train ride. But then I go on the Amtrak website and check out the price of room with a bed and my ardor for such a trip is tamped down for a couple of months.

 

[superrific]

I've never been prescribed medication for stress or anxiety.

Based on my reading there are a few things I'm considering self prescribing.

No, no, no. Do not self-prescribe. See a psychiatrist. This is the mistake so many people make. You know where you can meet a lot of people who didn't see a pscyhiatrist when they were feeling stressed and anxious? Substance abuse clinics. Hospital wards after suicide attempts. The unemployment line, etc.

Mental health is not like painting your house. There is no good DIY option.

There are some anxiety meds like benzos or Xanax that can make you sleepy because they are CNS depressants. But plenty of anxiety meds that do not. Many drugs that are labeled "anti-depressants" are as much about anxiety -- Effexor, Zoloft, Symbalta. My son had crippling anxiety; we put him on a low dose of Zoloft and he was better in a week. You're not 11 so I don't expect that kind of reaction, but his anxiety was bad.

Point is, lots of options. Your psychiatrist will know them. My recommendation, btw: I don't know if busebar is used much anymore, because it sucks, but if the psych mentions it, try something else. But I haven't seen busebar in years and years and my wife doesn't prescribe it, so I doubt it will be mentioned.

 

[superrific]

I have always wanted to take a coast to coast train ride. But then I go on the Amtrak website and check out the price of room with a bed and my ardor for such a trip is tamped down for a couple of months.

Fly to Europe, then take a coast to coast train ride. Will be cheaper

 

[superrific]

Do the things that bring you joy.
Eliminate all of those in your control that take your joy.
Minimize the unavoidable negatives in your life. Minimize how you prioritize them and the energy you give them.

The problem in depression and/or anxiety is that the things that used to bring you joy no longer do. And even if they do, you have little motivation to do them. I understand where you're coming from here, but those aren't helpful statements and if you say them to people who are depressed, it can make them feel even worse. They will think, "well, I have nothing I enjoy, so I must super duper suck." Well, might think. On a message board it's fine, because there will be others -- but in your personal life, if you know people who are struggling, don't give them advice that makes it sound easy. It will backfire.

 

[05C40]

Fly to Europe, then take a coast to coast train ride. Will be cheaper

All true, but depending on which "coast to coast" you are talking about, that could involve the "Trans-Siberian Express" which I understand involves a LOT of time where the scenery doesn't change much. But if we are talking Copenhagen to Naples with an on/off type ticket, that could be ALOT of fun

 

[superrific]

All true, but depending on which "coast to coast" you are talking about, that could involve the "Trans-Siberian Express" which I understand involves a LOT of time where the scenery doesn't change much. But if we are talking Copenhagen to Naples with an on/off type ticket, that could be ALOT of fun

The Trans-Siberian Express is the most hilarious name for a train ride that takes 6-7 days

 

[Bigs23]

The problem in depression and/or anxiety is that the things that used to bring you joy no longer do. And even if they do, you have little motivation to do them. I understand where you're coming from here, but those aren't helpful statements and if you say them to people who are depressed, it can make them feel even worse. They will think, "well, I have nothing I enjoy, so I must super duper suck." Well, might think. On a message board it's fine, because there will be others -- but in your personal life, if you know people who are struggling, don't give them advice that makes it sound easy. It will backfire.

I also mentioned meds and therapy. If you're clinically depressed you have to get help.

If your just in a slump or down on life intentionally changing your day to day life can be the solution.

 

[05C40]

The Trans-Siberian Express is the most hilarious name for a train ride that takes 6-7 days

Artimis II got to the moon quicker than that. But getting to see Lake Baikal would probably make it worth it for me.

ETA: For me, dreaming about all the wonderful things there are to do and see in this world is wonderful therapy. I love the National Geography Channel.

 

[superrific]

Artimis II got to the moon quicker than that. But getting to see Lake Baikal would probably make it worth it for me.

Whatever you do, avoid the local. It actually doesn't get all the way to the coast because everyone kills themselves before that.

 

[superrific]

I also mentioned meds and therapy. If you're clinically depressed you have to get help.

If your just in a slump or down on life intentionally changing your day to day life can be the solution.

I saw that. I wasn't harshing on you. I was just mentioning that. It's not as if you're the only person who offers that kind of advice. And it's not really wrong advice either -- it's just that the delivery matters a lot.

 

[NYCBlueBlood]

No, no, no. Do not self-prescribe. See a psychiatrist. This is the mistake so many people make. You know where you can meet a lot of people who didn't see a pscyhiatrist when they were feeling stressed and anxious? Substance abuse clinics. Hospital wards after suicide attempts. The unemployment line, etc.

Mental health is not like painting your house. There is no good DIY option.

There are some anxiety meds like benzos or Xanax that can make you sleepy because they are CNS depressants. But plenty of anxiety meds that do not. Many drugs that are labeled "anti-depressants" are as much about anxiety -- Effexor, Zoloft, Symbalta. My son had crippling anxiety; we put him on a low dose of Zoloft and he was better in a week. You're not 11 so I don't expect that kind of reaction, but his anxiety was bad.

Point is, lots of options. Your psychiatrist will know them. My recommendation, btw: I don't know if busebar is used much anymore, because it sucks, but if the psych mentions it, try something else. But I haven't seen busebar in years and years and my wife doesn't prescribe it, so I doubt it will be mentioned.

Agree 100% with super... do not try to self medicate. Brains are tricky things... trying to find the right mix of chemicals to mess around with your brain the "right way" is not really something you want to figure out on your own... while you are messing around with your brain with chemicals.

 

[ChapelHillSooner]

This week this post really resonated with me. I understood everything because I have been there before but now I really feel it.

I can’t sleep. I can barely eat. For days I had maybe an orange and a banana. I am getting more now and probably getting sufficient food. I have concentrated on fruits, vegetables, and protein. But the portions are low. I ate one slice of pizza on Wednesday and felt as if I had eaten a thanksgiving meal.

The anxiety is killing me. I will just post it here and leave the other thread alone. She hasn’t responded or even “read” a text since Tuesday. I only sent one - telling her yesterday have a happy day off and go get that car and send me pics!

(I wanted to be uplifting but she could easily spin it

I think either read receipts are off or she has me silenced. I am giving her all the space but the silence is killing me. I know I have to be strong.

I know I said things that were basically “I wish this situation had been handled differently” but she took it as “I think you are not trustworthy.” I get it. I just wish we could talk it out because p am 99% positive both of would feel better afterward.

I guess I just have to wait and hope I at least get that chance. Being long distance makes the odds a lot lower.

I saw a therapist this morning. My first time. I like her. We will see.

 

[ChapelHillSooner]

I agree with super about how when one is depressed, they aren’t really in a mental state to improve. They have no energy. Nothing seems enjoyable. When I was depressed about 20 years ago, I tried to do things that would help and when it didn’t I felt worse. It is a vicious cycle.

 

[UNCatTech]

No, no, no. Do not self-prescribe. See a psychiatrist. This is the mistake so many people make. You know where you can meet a lot of people who didn't see a pscyhiatrist when they were feeling stressed and anxious? Substance abuse clinics. Hospital wards after suicide attempts. The unemployment line, etc.

Mental health is not like painting your house. There is no good DIY option.

There are some anxiety meds like benzos or Xanax that can make you sleepy because they are CNS depressants. But plenty of anxiety meds that do not. Many drugs that are labeled "anti-depressants" are as much about anxiety -- Effexor, Zoloft, Symbalta. My son had crippling anxiety; we put him on a low dose of Zoloft and he was better in a week. You're not 11 so I don't expect that kind of reaction, but his anxiety was bad.

Point is, lots of options. Your psychiatrist will know them. My recommendation, btw: I don't know if busebar is used much anymore, because it sucks, but if the psych mentions it, try something else. But I haven't seen busebar in years and years and my wife doesn't prescribe it, so I doubt it will be mentioned.

I was thinking along the lines of LSD.

 

[UNCatTech]

This week this post really resonated with me. I understood everything because I have been there before but now I really feel it.

I can’t sleep. I can barely eat. For days I had maybe an orange and a banana. I am getting more now and probably getting sufficient food. I have concentrated on fruits, vegetables, and protein. But the portions are low. I ate one slice of pizza on Wednesday and felt as if I had eaten a thanksgiving meal.

The anxiety is killing me. I will just post it here and leave the other thread alone. She hasn’t responded or even “read” a text since Tuesday. I only sent one - telling her yesterday have a happy day off and go get that car and send me pics!

(I wanted to be uplifting but she could easily spin it

I think either read receipts are off or she has me silenced. I am giving her all the space but the silence is killing me. I know I have to be strong.

I know I said things that were basically “I wish this situation had been handled differently” but she took it as “I think you are not trustworthy.” I get it. I just wish we could talk it out because p am 99% positive both of would feel better afterward.

I guess I just have to wait and hope I at least get that chance. Being long distance makes the odds a lot lower.

I saw a therapist this morning. My first time. I like her. We will see.

I hope the therapist helps. A thing to remember with therapist, you are not tied to them, if it isn't working try another. They are also not all the same, so if one doesn't work don't give up.

I like my therapist, she's great to talk to, but I'm not sure were making a lot of progress. I need to take my own advice and try someone else.

 

[superrific]

I was thinking along the lines of LSD.

Come on, dude. I mean, that's fine and all and I'm sure finesse can give you some pointers (and maybe others) but that is not a substitute for an anti-anxiety medication.

 

[superrific]

This week this post really resonated with me. I understood everything because I have been there before but now I really feel it.

I can’t sleep. I can barely eat. For days I had maybe an orange and a banana. I am getting more now and probably getting sufficient food. I have concentrated on fruits, vegetables, and protein. But the portions are low. I ate one slice of pizza on Wednesday and felt as if I had eaten a thanksgiving meal.

The anxiety is killing me. I will just post it here and leave the other thread alone. She hasn’t responded or even “read” a text since Tuesday. I only sent one - telling her yesterday have a happy day off and go get that car and send me pics!

(I wanted to be uplifting but she could easily spin it

I think either read receipts are off or she has me silenced. I am giving her all the space but the silence is killing me. I know I have to be strong.

I know I said things that were basically “I wish this situation had been handled differently” but she took it as “I think you are not trustworthy.” I get it. I just wish we could talk it out because p am 99% positive both of would feel better afterward.

I guess I just have to wait and hope I at least get that chance. Being long distance makes the odds a lot lower.

I saw a therapist this morning. My first time. I like her. We will see.

Sounds like you've started excreting a GLP-1! Hook yourself up with a blood draw and a filter and make some serious cash on the black market!

Again I am left with silly advice. The more you think about it, the more agony it will cause you. The more anxious you are, the more likely it is that you will communicate with her poorly. So just relax. drum roll. But seriously, you've got to break yourself out of the doom loop. Having been there myself, I know it's really hard to do. One good way is to stop thinking about it. But then, if you're successful, you'll pat yourself on the back and whoops, you're thinking about it again. It's a conundrum.

Here's a thought. I apologize to everyone for volunteering them, but I wonder if might help for you to consult the board before sending texts. Or when interpreting texts. It's not that anyone here knows your life better than you, but there's such a thing as the wisdom of crowds. It's possible that everyone together will know what to do better than you. And maybe there are people who have lived through something similar and might offer an analysis or some useful thoughts. Obviously if you don't feel comfortable doing that (I'm imagine you typing, not screenshotting), don't. It's just a thought.

And I will sit that process out not because I don't care, but because I'm pretty bad at interpreting text messages and knowing how text messages will be interpreted. You don't want my advice on this issue, lol.