Socks

I was reading a short story today and the character was talking about a relative he didn't care for. He said, "If I had a bottle of water and he was on fire, I'd drink the water and piss in the ditch."

I understand that feeling better now.
The version of that expression that was common when I was growing up was, "I wouldn't piss on him if his guts were on fire." For full effect, it has to be said with a deep Southern drawl.
 
So my wife got me a bunch of new socks last month to replace my old ones that are falling apart. I have to wear shoes all the time because my feet are fucked up and I need the orthotic support, and wearing shoes without socks -- especially with orthotics -- is a recipe for blisters and stinky shoes.

Unfortunately, she also sent some laundry out with a new service that has managed to misplace our load. Included in the lost laundry were all my socks. Meanwhile, I tweaked my right knee on Saturday morning -- the knee whose cap I shattered two years ago -- and haven't wanted to drive because it hurts (as does walking around a lot on a non-carpet).

So I'm on day 3 and my socks are beginning to stink. I'm thinking about wrapping my feet in washcloths.

Just noted for the record, in case the stench starts spilling out through the internet . . .
Dryer sheets are stinky shoes best friend!
 
I was reading a short story today and the character was talking about a relative he didn't care for. He said, "If I had a bottle of water and he was on fire, I'd drink the water and piss in the ditch."

I understand that feeling better now.
I have relatives like that.

I've really tried, but we just don't get along. I sometimes feel bad that we have such a bad relationship, but I don't know how to make it better.
 
The version of that expression that was common when I was growing up was, "I wouldn't piss on him if his guts were on fire." For full effect, it has to be said with a deep Southern drawl.
I heard it, "I wouldn't piss on his ass if his piles were on fire."
 
This makes my OCD shudder. I need to come organize your sock drawer. Just knowing this disorganized mess is sitting at your house in Queens makes me queasy.
Ha, this set my OCD free. Previously I had to organize matched pairs by color, with sets organized so the most recently worn pair is put to the back
Dude. I have a washer dryer. I just have a bad back and bad knees and 6 boys laundry to do along with mine and my wife's. I can't do it all.
:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:
 
So you just have all black socks now?
Well I have an entire drawer full of dress socks I never wear... but yes, I have a drawer full of black ankle high Under Armour socks. Though somewhat annoyingly, they periodically change the sock style a bit... so I do have to match socks by era.
 
Ha, this set my OCD free. Previously I had to organize matched pairs by color, with sets organized so the most recently worn pair is put to the back
I have white socks and black socks, same brand, so I don't have to be OCD about them. I do have a set order I usually wear shirts, though.
 
I have white socks and black socks
I do too, and have been known to wear one of each at the same time, although I generally try to avoid that harsh of a juxtaposition. I do, however, generally just put on the first two I pull out of the drawer or, more likely, pick out of the pile of clean ones that might be laying around anywhere. I'm honestly not trying to make farce's head explode here, but such are the facts of my sock situation...
 
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