I've had 3 n-word sections of my life.
In my early-> mid teens, all of my close friends, except one, was black. We were ALL about Nintendo, gangster rap and basketball. We played gangster rap while gaming. We took our giant boombox to the park and played it while we hopped. We all called each other the n-word. It was as natural as bro, dude, etc. No anger. No animosity.
In my early 20's, (also early 2000's) it's going sound like a joke, but it was me (white), a Mexican guy and a black literally sitting in a bar talking about the use of n-word, specifically why black people still used it. My claim, in a fairly intoxicated state, was the black people using it was to take power away from racist white people.
My final chapter was around 2015 (40 years old) when I became good friends with a black co-worker who thought it was funny to take his white friend to a bar on a night when it was 99% black people, to make me as uncomfortable as possible. Little did he know that I didn't care at all. What's interesting is that he was the only one of his black friends who didn't use the n-word. He substituted "ninja". I'm not joking. He referred to me as "my ninja" whenever we greeted each other. We had a conversation about what he didn't believe in using that word....if I was sober I could tell you what it was. But, during the discussion, we both used the word with no animosity and no anger.
It just seems odd that honest/informational discussions have become so taboo. It almost seems to re-empower the racists