Work perspective...

Well, well, well....

My director (managers manager) just stopped by to talk with me about the future.

He made it clear he wants me to take over my managers position, but he seemed hesitant when I asked about a grade level increase.

I'm not going to take that role for the same money, that would be stupid. It would basically triple my workload. 5 people to 11, more licensing, more vendors, greater budget to manage.

Edit, after more conversation, they are splitting the SAP team out, so it would be 11 people instead of 15.
 
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UNCatTech said:
Well, well, well....

My director (managers manager) just stopped by to talk with me about the future.

He made it clear he wants me to take over my managers position, but he seemed hesitant when I asked about a grade level increase.

I'm not going to take that role for the same money, that would be stupid. It would basically triple my workload. 5 people to 15, more licensing, more vendors, greater budget to manage.
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That is crazy stufff
 
mpaer said:
That is crazy stufff
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I was clear that money is a factor in my decision. This is the same person that wanted my to offer an SME I hired last year, from within, a lateral move. I refused then also. It doesn't make sense to expect someone to increase their workload with no compensation, by choice.
 
UNCatTech said:
Thanks.

By the way my daughter is working to run the NYC marathon, so I might be in NYC this year.

The wife thing is a struggle, but it's not a typical situation. My wife came out as gay in June. So now we're more roommates. I figure eventually one of us might meet some one and we'll have to get divorced, I'm more concerned about the financial party of that.
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Def let me know if you wind up here. And if you want a place to stay in Queens, you are more than welcome to my spare bedroom.

Yeah, that's a tough one for both of you. Given the church environment you grew up in, I'm sure your wife is not the only person you know from our generation who has been living her whole life as something other than her true self. I'm very sorry you're going through it, but I also feel for her. Not an easy thing to address in your 50s... not for either of you.

Dividing up retirement savings for two entirely separate households is not easy. I can definitely see your dilemma in making future impacting financial decisions. I suspect things will shake out relatively quickly in terms of how to structure the future from a household perspective. I personally would avoid making any big job decisions until that shapes up.
 
UNCatTech said:
I was clear that money is a factor in my decision. This is the same person that wanted my to offer an SME I hired last year, from within, a lateral move. I refused then also. It doesn't make sense to expect someone to increase their workload with no compensation, by choice.
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You may want to be a little cautious here in how you turn down the role (if you do). It sounds like they feel they should be getting more out of people for what they are currently paying them. Right or wrong, if you make it clear you will not take on more without being paid for it, they may use that as a reason to push you out. I've seen that before in my career.
 
farce© said:
Oh yes it can. I know too well…that’s what a QDRO* is for.

*qualified domestic relation orderi
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In the case where the primary breadwinner has the retirement account, it often gets given to the spouse in the negotiations since the spouse will probably be in a lower tax bracket at distribution.. Something like "keep the house, give up the IRA
. It's all a negotiation.
 
NYCBlueBlood said:
Def let me know if you wind up here. And if you want a place to stay in Queens, you are more than welcome to my spare bedroom.

Yeah, that's a tough one for both of you. Given the church environment you grew up in, I'm sure your wife is not the only person you know from our generation who has been living her whole life as something other than her true self. I'm very sorry you're going through it, but I also feel for her. Not an easy thing to address in your 50s... not for either of you.

Dividing up retirement savings for two entirely separate households is not easy. I can definitely see your dilemma in making future impacting financial decisions. I suspect things will shake out relatively quickly in terms of how to structure the future from a household perspective. I personally would avoid making any big job decisions until that shapes up.
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Thanks for the offer, but it's going to be the whole family if she goes to the race, probably can't fit 6 people in the spare bedroom. 😁

But, I'll definitely get away for a drink while I'm there.

Yes, I do understand and I don't hate her for this, I'm just trying to figure out how I move forward basically single. For now, I want to focus on myself.

While she does sometimes feel guilty that she's affecting the family, she's really embraced her new identity. It's very clear that this is real.

And that's fine, we still have 30 years together and we don't hate each other, so I there's no reason to rush into anything hasty that would only cost us both money.

The basement is almost finished and she is going to move there. The layout is great there's basically a one bedroom apartment and a second bedroom for her work office. The main area will still be family. We may put a pool table there.

Yes, we have agreed not to do anything that would impact us financially. And if life changes and she meets someone, we've agreed to be equitable.
If we can stay in this arrangement for 3-5 years, we should have plenty of money in retirement, even if split, and we could then sell the house. If the market doesn't collapse in the meantime, we should walk away with at least $600k from the house, which would be split evenly.

All in all, financially it's good for both of us. If we split up two apartments would probably be double our mortgage and it would also force the decision of where my youngest daughter lives.

I just really didn't need the work stress and decisions right now.
 
NYCBlueBlood said:
You may want to be a little cautious here in how you turn down the role (if you do). It sounds like they feel they should be getting more out of people for what they are currently paying them. Right or wrong, if you make it clear you will not take on more without being paid for it, they may use that as a reason to push you out. I've seen that before in my career.
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Exactly, that worries me. I also worry that if I were to apply for the severance and it not be approved, then they would hold that against me also.

It's tough.

One thing from today's discussion, it appears that I would not manage everyone, the SAP team is no longer going to be part of our team, so those 4 people would be managed by someone else, I would only get MES/SCADA/Reporting, which is currently 11 people, but needs to grow.

I also worry that I show no excitement when he talks with me. I hope he doesn't decide to go a different direction, but if he does, I'll be fine in my current position.


I really don't understand why we need a layoff every 12-18 months, we don't have enough employees to get the jobs done now. And our company is doing fine overall. I believe we purchased two more smaller drug manufactures this year to grow our reach in the pharma space.
 
But, maybe I get the promotion, make more money, and take the package with next year's layoffs, since it's basically an annual thing now. 😁

I'm more worried about the promotion than the money, I'm sure I'll get a good raise this year. But the promotion makes me a higher grade level, which comes with a bigger bonus baseline and stock options and long term incentive (which I really don't know what it consist of).

And working 12-15 hours a day keeps my mind off of other things...
 
I encouraged my ex to retire early-because suddenly she could not find a School where she did not piss off the Principal and she pissed off her Univ mentor as she was studying to be an Administrator late in life
A little while latter she announced she wanted a Divorce . Total shock to me (shows what a dumbarse I am )
We never got in a fight etc and the Court lierally applauded us at the Divorce hearing as we were so cordial
It did not take me long to retire-I wanted to reboot
And it worked
 
mpaer said:
I encouraged my ex to retire early-because suddenly she could not find a School where she did not piss off the Principal and she pissed off her Univ mentor as she was studying to be an Administrator late in life
A little while latter she announced she wanted a Divorce . Total shock to me (shows what a dumbarse I am )
We never got in a fight etc and the Court lierally applauded us at the Divorce hearing as we were so cordial
It did not take me long to retire-I wanted to reboot
And it worked
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I'm glad everything worked out for you.

I know it will for me also. I'd probably go ahead and divorce and retire, if I had just a little more money. But, I'm close, should be there in 3-5 years if the world doesn't collapse.
 
UNCatTech said:
I'm glad everything worked out for you.

I know it will for me also. I'd probably go ahead and divorce and retire, if I had just a little more money. But, I'm close, should be there in 3-5 years if the world doesn't collapse.
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In my case, once the Ex was not part of the checkbook I had a large surplus at the end of each month , despite splitting things up
lol but true
 
BubbaOtis said:
In the case where the primary breadwinner has the retirement account, it often gets given to the spouse in the negotiations since the spouse will probably be in a lower tax bracket at distribution.. Something like "keep the house, give up the IRA
. It's all a negotiation.
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In my case it was split in half. The QDRO allows a tax free distribution to the spouse who doesn’t own the tax deferred account.
 
Geisterfahrer said:
This. Take the promotion and ride it. You do not want to be trying this job market in your late 50s. Time will go by in a blink. After a year or two if you’re hating it then you can reassess.
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Yeah that's the other good point. Depending on your industry it's not a very good market... At all. Definitely brutal in tech
 
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