In my current state it is. If you do get divorced it is imperative that you have an attorney who specializes in family law. Big mistake I made for my first divorce. Don't skimp on getting professional advice.
That is crazy stufff
I was clear that money is a factor in my decision. This is the same person that wanted my to offer an SME I hired last year, from within, a lateral move. I refused then also. It doesn't make sense to expect someone to increase their workload with no compensation, by choice.
Def let me know if you wind up here. And if you want a place to stay in Queens, you are more than welcome to my spare bedroom.
You may want to be a little cautious here in how you turn down the role (if you do). It sounds like they feel they should be getting more out of people for what they are currently paying them. Right or wrong, if you make it clear you will not take on more without being paid for it, they may use that as a reason to push you out. I've seen that before in my career.
Thanks for the offer, but it's going to be the whole family if she goes to the race, probably can't fit 6 people in the spare bedroom.
Exactly, that worries me. I also worry that if I were to apply for the severance and it not be approved, then they would hold that against me also.
I'm glad everything worked out for you.
In my case, once the Ex was not part of the checkbook I had a large surplus at the end of each month , despite splitting things up
In my case it was split in half. The QDRO allows a tax free distribution to the spouse who doesn’t own the tax deferred account.
Yeah that's the other good point. Depending on your industry it's not a very good market... At all. Definitely brutal in tech
As is entirely expected based on your high moral character, you're handling everything in a mature and understanding way... ending any marriage is tough, having things unravel after 30 years is something I can't imagine. Sorry you're having to deal with this, my friend. Def let me know when/where for the drink. I will be there. And yes, 6 people would be a bit of a crunch!Thanks for the offer, but it's going to be the whole family if she goes to the race, probably can't fit 6 people in the spare bedroom.
But, I'll definitely get away for a drink while I'm there.
Yes, I do understand and I don't hate her for this, I'm just trying to figure out how I move forward basically single. For now, I want to focus on myself.
While she does sometimes feel guilty that she's affecting the family, she's really embraced her new identity. It's very clear that this is real.
And that's fine, we still have 30 years together and we don't hate each other, so I there's no reason to rush into anything hasty that would only cost us both money.
The basement is almost finished and she is going to move there. The layout is great there's basically a one bedroom apartment and a second bedroom for her work office. The main area will still be family. We may put a pool table there.
Yes, we have agreed not to do anything that would impact us financially. And if life changes and she meets someone, we've agreed to be equitable.
If we can stay in this arrangement for 3-5 years, we should have plenty of money in retirement, even if split, and we could then sell the house. If the market doesn't collapse in the meantime, we should walk away with at least $600k from the house, which would be split evenly.
All in all, financially it's good for both of us. If we split up two apartments would probably be double our mortgage and it would also force the decision of where my youngest daughter lives.
I just really didn't need the work stress and decisions right now.
Now that they have offered you the bigger job, I'd probably recommend letting the severance option pass... especially if this is an annual event with them.
You get to know you're part of something having a net positive impact on the world... while my company is certainly not "bad", we are definitely in it for the money and not positive social impact. I often fantasize about taking the pay cut to go somewhere where I felt like I was a part of positive change.When people talk about their bonuses and stock options, it makes me sad that we don't really get those in the non-profit world.
12% 401k !
