MAGA - The family impact

dukeman92

dukeman92

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I feel as though this deserves it's own thread. If not, I understand. Also, this may be long so I apologize in advance.

As this race spirals towards November 5th, I am losing more and more respect for people who sympathize with Donald Trump. Namely, family.
I have an uncle through marriage. (we're technically just engaged) This is someone whom I met in the last three years (so we haven't been through the Trump rabbit hole together until now) and have gotten along with swimmingly to this point. This is someone who lost a beloved pet and was afraid they couldn't afford to replace it (after a grieving period) So my wife and I found them a puppy and paid for everything. Got her chipped, fixed, the whole nine. Point being, these are people (her aunt and uncle) who we really cared about. To lay some more behind the scenes here and help you understand what's going on, my step son is biracial. THEIR adopted son who is my age is gay.

They are ardent Trumpers. They espouse all the MAGA positions, ie Harris is a communist who is the worst person ever born etc etc. I don't understand how they mentally detach themselves from Trumps hateful rhetoric while continuing to "love and support" the very people the pubs hate. And I can no longer make excuses for them. (They're good people who are just confused etc etc, you all know them because I'm sure you've all made the same excuses for people you care about.)

Every. Single. Time. I post something to Facebook, he responds regurgitating Trumps hateful rhetoric. If it were anybody else, they would be eviscerated! But because it's him, I hold back. I never respond to the stupid shit he posts on his Facebook. Ever! We only argue because he responds to my stuff. It's gotten to the point where I'm not comfortable going to his house anymore. When this election is over, how will we deal with this? I'm sure I'm not alone.
 
It’s a real thing. I don’t talk to my own father any longer. We are scheduled to meet with the family the week before Christmas for our annual secret Santa exchange, but I’ve already told me wife that I may not go if Trump wins the election. I just finally got fed up with all the bull shit, and basically cut off ties. I guess that’s on me, but I couldn’t look past it any longer. Obviously there’s more to the story, but this is a major contributing factor.
 
I am cordial to family members who are MAGAs, but I don't go out of my way to visit or talk to them. I don't have time for other folks I know who are MAGAs. If you were a friend in high school and you post some stupid MAGA crap on Facebook that's an automatic unfriend for me now.
 
TullyHeel said:
I am cordial to family members who are MAGAs, but I don't go out of my way to visit or talk to them. I don't have time for other folks I know who are MAGAs. If you were a friend in high school and you post some stupid MAGA crap on Facebook that's an automatic unfriend for me now.
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Same. It occurred to me one day... "why am I putting up with this" so I just decided to start blocking the hell out of them. My feed is better and so is my mood.
 
My issues with my extended family go well beyond politics, but we're certainly divided there, as well. The good news for me is that I rarely see any of them. So I guess we weren't able to be separated by politics because we were already separated by so many other things.

The hardest part has been my mom and dad (although my dad passed about 3 years ago, so no longer a concern there). I moved back to NC over 10 years ago with a major part being that my parents were getting older and I'm an only child. But when I returned to the area I learned very quickly that I couldn't discuss politics with my parents. And so I created a boundary there that we couldn't discuss politics and both sides largely adhered to it. And the few times someone didn't, it got called out fairly quickly and we made amends and moved forward.

But it does make conversations with my mom really awkward. There are times where one of us has to essentially stop and completely redirect a conversation to keep from getting into politics. And it is really odd to have someone you care about so much support things that you find to be so completely terrible. I've considered trying to have a discussion with my mom about some very specific things that bother me, but I know it'll just end up with us getting into a very heated argument and likely not speaking for awhile, so I don't do it. I know that the current status quo is likely the best we're going to get, so I just keep with it, but it is an odd situation in certain ways.
 
I have three siblings One turned out to be a Newt Gingrich all the way to donald trump fan . We talk sports When he makes a political joke I simply ignore it ..What hurts is I don't see his children or grandchildren much at all Cause maybe 1 hour is my limit with my brother
 
Within my family, I no longer have these issues. My mother died in 2016 and I was never close to her ttumpy evangelical family, so I just slowly faded out of group texts, emails, and holidays. Living 1000+ miles away helps. On the dad side, both grandparents were overt racists and ttumpers, but both died in the last handful of years. Remarkably, my dad, the hard drinking, gambling, privileged-as-hell boomer entrepreneur from Texas is virulently anti-trump.
 
dukeman92 said:
Same. It occurred to me one day... "why am I putting up with this" so I just decided to start blocking the hell out of them. My feed is better and so is my mood.
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I've basically cut any known Trumper out of my life.

My BIL is conservative, but not full blown maga cultists. We talk, but mostly avoid politics. When it does come up I usually show him why I believe he is wrong and move on.

I have a gay daughter and an unmarried daughter with cats. If the conversation goes that direction with anyone, I will stand up for the rights of my daughters.
 
I'm lucky. Even my dad (who I outed on the other thread as shouting out the N-word during fight night) hates Trump and recognizes the danger he represents and will be voting for Harris... Go figure.

I do feel like I'm losing my brother to Bro culture, though. Pseudo-science health influencers, Joe Rogan, Anti-vax, conspiracy footsie, you get the idea. I hate it. Smart guy, well educated, multiple degrees.

It's not remotely on the same scale as "un-Fox my parents", but I do think "un-Bro my brother" is a real thing.
 
dukeman92 said:
I feel as though this deserves it's own thread. If not, I understand. Also, this may be long so I apologize in advance.

As this race spirals towards November 5th, I am losing more and more respect for people who sympathize with Donald Trump. Namely, family.
I have an uncle through marriage. (we're technically just engaged) This is someone whom I met in the last three years (so we haven't been through the Trump rabbit hole together until now) and have gotten along with swimmingly to this point. This is someone who lost a beloved pet and was afraid they couldn't afford to replace it (after a grieving period) So my wife and I found them a puppy and paid for everything. Got her chipped, fixed, the whole nine. Point being, these are people (her aunt and uncle) who we really cared about. To lay some more behind the scenes here and help you understand what's going on, my step son is biracial. THEIR adopted son who is my age is gay.

They are ardent Trumpers. They espouse all the MAGA positions, ie Harris is a communist who is the worst person ever born etc etc. I don't understand how they mentally detach themselves from Trumps hateful rhetoric while continuing to "love and support" the very people the pubs hate. And I can no longer make excuses for them. (They're good people who are just confused etc etc, you all know them because I'm sure you've all made the same excuses for people you care about.)

Every. Single. Time. I post something to Facebook, he responds regurgitating Trumps hateful rhetoric. If it were anybody else, they would be eviscerated! But because it's him, I hold back. I never respond to the stupid shit he posts on his Facebook. Ever! We only argue because he responds to my stuff. It's gotten to the point where I'm not comfortable going to his house anymore. When this election is over, how will we deal with this? I'm sure I'm not alone.
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Are you sure they're good people?
 
ChileG said:
He asked me once why I wouldn’t vote for Trump and I told my dad that he raised me to hold people like Trump in great disdain.
That was the last we spoke about it.
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This is a major issue that I struggle with among some of my family. We were all raised similarly and with very similar values. Treat others how you want to be treated, don't be a name caller, if someone is getting bullied, let an adult know - stuff like that. Their mom and dad, my aunt and uncle, would roll over in their graves if they heard some of the stuff their kids (my cousins) speak about re: Trump that they absolutely were raised to know is wrong. I know folks change, and that's their choice, but it's hard to watch folks stray from what they were taught...
 
I’ve shared previously that I am from a deep red rural part of North Carolina and that my extended family is comprised of 17 sets of aunts and uncles (11 on my dad‘s side 6 on my mom’s), and 62 first cousins (61 living). I don’t know to what extent every one of them are active voters, but I am almost certain that I know that if they do vote, every single one of them will or would vote for Trump- maybe save for one or two, *maybe* but very doubtful.
 
Thankfully, my parents and my aunts/uncles/cousins all see right thru Trump and have from the jump. A extreme rarity, I know. My wife's family, however, is another story. They're pretty much all 100% MAGA.

I've had earnest conversations with my FIL about how dem candidates like Obama, Clinton, and now Harris actually favor policies that would benefit him. He'll even admit that Obamacare was the single most-helpful thing a President has ever done for him, personally (he "retired" from running his own small business at ~55 yrs. old, sold it, and has had to buy health insurance for him and my MIL ever since). As someone with a looottt of health problems, it's saved them thousands of dollars annually. He's now been on disability for several years following complications from a surgery.

So, in short, he's relied on and greatly benefitted from Obamacare, is now on SSDI, is fully aware of GOP's interest in making cuts to all such programs, and yet cannot wait to cast another vote for Trump and Mark Robinson. He's also never shied away from shitting on other people for being on these exact same programs. "Too lazy", "gaming the system", etc...

Most frustrating thing ever.

My MIL is a little harder to read. I honestly think I convinced her to vote Biden in 2020, but I'm not sure. The rest of them are southern baptist evangelicals. Luckily, everyone does a good job of not talking politics at gatherings, which are pretty frequent.
 
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My brother, who served in Iraq, Iran, the Balkans, East Africa and the Pankisi is a Trumper. It disgusts me. I've given up understanding it, but nothing can come between us. He is blood and even if he's wrong, I'd fight any of you if he was threatened.
 
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