Are you really going to do the Super thing on something like this? This isn't some stupid politics where you get to argue a tiny point and it doesn't really matter. Someone might read that and trust you and die from your posts.
[curtain rises as a man opens his front door after a knock]
hedge: Well, hello Paine!
Paine: Thanks for inviting me over, hedge. I could use some company.
hedge: What's wrong?
Paine: Physically, I'm 100%. But man, that election took a lot out of me.
hedge: tell me about it
Paine: I've even tried to console myself by binge-reading the past seasons of
Jacobin. They are pretty boring fourth time round.
hedge: Yeah. Try Shakespeare. Almost unlimited rewatchability
Paine: Shakespeare is fine, but the heroes are like kings and princes. I can't root for them.
hedge: Why not?
Paine: You know who the Jacobins were, right?
hedge: Got it. Not all Shakespeare protagonists are royalty. Just most.
Paine: Super suggested that I might like something called "
The Persecution and Assassination Of Jean-Paul Marat As Performed By The Inmates Of the Asylum Of Cherendon Under The Direction Of The Marquis De Sade"
hedge: I've heard that's good. Did you try it?
Paine: No. Super said it was formative for him.
hedge: Oh. Well, there's always tequila [taking out two shot glasses and a bottle]
Paine: I don't know. I've been trying to avoid alcohol because of the cancer risk
hedge: You don't have to worry about that
Paine: Are you sure?
hedge: Well, super said something vague and non-committal in a short post at 2AM.
Paine: That's good enough for me. Down the hatch!
[the two share a drink]
hedge: Not bad
Paine: I'm not feeling so well all of a sudden. Man, my throat really hurts
hedge: Let me look at it. Open your mouth
Paine: [opening] Aaaaahhhh
hedge: OH MY GOD! You've developed stage 4 throat cancer!!
Paine: That doesn't sound good!
hedge: it's really bad for most people. We know this guy, though . . . Paine, open your eyes!
Paine: I'm dying, hedge. I should have listened to the contrarian
hedge: Paine, Paine, don't let go. [sobbing after Paine expires] Oh, Gods! This is even sadder than Timon Of Athens
[door opens, to reveal zoo-view]
Zoo: If you're not using that bottle, I'll gladly take it off your hands.
hedge: Get out, you ghoul. This is your fault. Yours and super's. You killed a good man!