Travis and Taylor

If my sister was super happy/satisfied with her current life, you would have a point. I don’t ultimately care that much if my sister has children or not, but seeing Taylor Swift start a family would absolutely have a chance of influencing her overall viewpoint on what it means to start a family, be a mother, have a husband, etc.
I want making a point. I was asking a question and you didn't answer my question. Do you want this influence because you believe that she needs to be influenced to have children because that's what you have decided will make her happier?
 
If my sister was super happy/satisfied with her current life, you would have a point. I don’t ultimately care that much if my sister has children or not, but seeing Taylor Swift start a family would absolutely have a chance of influencing her overall viewpoint on what it means to start a family, be a mother, have a husband, etc.

One thing is clear... you don't think much of your sister.
 
I want making a point. I was asking a question and you didn't answer my question. Do you want this influence because you believe that she needs to be influenced to have children because that's what you have decided will make her happier?
Yes, I believe she would be happier if she’s eventually married with kids (or even just married) vs. if she’s single for life. This isn’t unique to her, it’s universal and it’s timeless.
 
One thing is clear... you don't think much of your sister.
She’s somewhat estranged from my parents but not from me. She flies in to visit my family (me/wife/daughters) several times per year.

Her and my parents can coexist together for a short time, but if they are together for several days it’s only a matter of time before one of them can’t resist bringing up their well-established extreme differences in politics and then it gets explosive because none of them will give an inch.

I’m somewhat caught in the middle of it, but admittedly empathize more with my parents than with my sister when those arguments occur, because I believe my sister’s political opinions are absurd. She takes it way further than just mainstream political differences and goes to 100 with extreme feminism, men are bad, white people are oppressors, corporations are oppressors, America is a racist country, pro-Palestine, so on and so forth.

The difference between me and all of them is that I value having strong relationships with family more than I care about a political difference of opinion….no matter how extreme.

So all of this is a long way of saying, I actually do think highly of my sister overall. She’s very smart, talented, successful in her career….but frankly she entered UNC as a normal person and exited as a brainwashed liberal. Not just the Joe Biden type, but the Bernie Sanders/admitted socialist type.

Ask yourself this though, to bring this post back to the thread topic a little bit. Why exactly would my sister be so adamantly against Taylor Swift having children? Isn’t that just as strange as the rest of the family hoping (secretly, not like bugging her about it) that my sister eventually moderates on some of her positions, settles down, and has a happy family?

The answer is, she idolizes Swift to the point that Swift is all-consuming to her. In the same way religion is to some folks or that sports is to me. So she’s always put Swift up on this pedestal as someone who says “F the patriarchy, I’m focusing on my career, I’ll break up with tons of guys and write songs about them, I’m never getting married and never having kids. Oh and by the way, vote Democrat.” And now she’s watched Taylor fall for Travis Kelce, get engaged, and there’s starting to be chinks in the armor of this persona that my sister wants Swift to maintain.
 
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Waay too pessimistic view of things. No question housing is expensive and we need to focus on building more entry housing. But your reality is not mine. Both of my children purchased their homes in their mid 20s. My son just closed on his 2nd home. 90% of their friends from HS and college own their own homes in places like Atlanta, Charlotte, Raleigh, Charleston, Dallas, No. VA and many have already started families. I realize this might not be a completely representative sample of young people but still....
From the favorite conservative network, Fox News:

"[The American Dream] is slightly changing as younger generations opt to rent or stay at home with their parents longer than ever before. It's a consequence of the affordability crisis that continues to persist in the housing market, according to real estate mogul and founder of The Agency, Mauricio Umansky.

"The younger generation is really not able to own homes," [Umansky] said. "Again, I'm using the word affordability, but it's a real affordability issue."

As of May, the typical U.S. household would need to spend 44.6% of their income to afford a median-priced home, according to recent data from Realtor.com. This is well above the recommended 30% threshold, highlighting how "affordability isn't just strained, it's nearly extinct," Realtor.com economists said in the recently published report.

From CNN:

"Americans are living through the toughest housing market in a generation and, for some young people, the quintessential dream of owning a home is slipping away.

Mortgage rates surged in recent years...While rates have come down slightly since then, home prices remain painfully elevated and a limited inventory of housing is still failing to keep up with demand. Such conditions mean that housing has become woefully unaffordable.

It’s still a cruddy time to be hunting for a home, but it’s even worse for young, first-time buyers who need to save up for a down payment and build up their credit score during a time when Baby Boomers are refusing to part with their big houses.

The situation isn’t a whole lot better for renters, with rents barely coming down from record highs and half of tenants in that market saying they can’t even afford their payments."

But yeah, everything is hunky-dory with young couples and housing and rents. No need for pessimism at all.
 
Yes, I believe she would be happier if she’s eventually married with kids (or even just married) vs. if she’s single for life. This isn’t unique to her, it’s universal and it’s timeless.
So single women for life can't be happy, or as happy as married women? That's certainly an interesting, 1950s position to take. I've known married women with kids who are miserable and single women (and men) who are actually quite happy with their lives, or at least as happy as married couples I've seen.
 
Correct, single people in general would not be as happy or have as fulfilling of a life as married people. Hardly a 1950s take.
Based on my own personal observations I totally disagree with that statement. As I said above I've known married women who are miserable (including with kids) and single people who are quite happy with their lives. And yeah, arguing that a woman needs to be married to be happy and fulfilled is a pretty traditionalist (and simplistic) view of life, imo.
 
Based on my own personal observations I totally disagree with that statement. As I said above I've known married women who are miserable (including with kids) and single people who are quite happy with their lives. And yeah, arguing that a woman needs to be married to be happy and fulfilled is a pretty traditionalist (and simplistic) view of life, imo.
Never said a woman “has to” be married to be happy and fulfilled, just that it makes it more likely. Same goes for men.

My experience is, the single folks probably have more fun than the married folks in the 20s and maybe 30s. Highly doubt that’s true in the 60s and 70s when parents are likely dead, siblings have their own families, and you’re more dependent on having your own family (spouse, kids) or risk being really lonely.
 
Never said a woman “has to” be married to be happy and fulfilled, just that it makes it more likely. Same goes for men.

My experience is, the single folks probably have more fun than the married folks in the 20s and maybe 30s. Highly doubt that’s true in the 60s and 70s when parents are likely dead, siblings have their own families, and you’re more dependent on having your own family (spouse, kids) or risk being really lonely.
So your argument is still that most women ought to get married and have kids, because it's "more likely" that they'll be happier. And as I said I don't think that is true in many cases - it depends on the person, not on some old-fashioned view of how people should live their lives. And I've heard the old saw about older single and childless people being lonely and miserable, and that's not what I've usually seen either. In some cases married people with kids are happier, but a good many aren't. And my wife and I have frequently heard the horrified gasps of "who will take care of you when you're old?" when I've seen old folks whose adult kids shoved them into nursing or retirement homes and single elderly people who are still very involved in their church or community and have many friends who look after them. It depends on the person, not on a generic formula or lifestyle.
 
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