Toxic masculinity and red pilling boys and young men

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I got to think there was a lot of lying / exaggeration in your early 20’s. I worked hard at it and I never got to get laid multiple times in the same week. I assume that this includes different partners because I agree it was multiple times a week if you had a steady / almost engaged girlfriend.
 
I’ll say that this thread hasn’t gone the direction I was expecting it to. And as a father of a 9th grade boy, I was hoping more to see a discussion of how others have tried to teach their sons the right way and keep a handle on what they are listening to and watching (and how to direct them away from red pilling).
 
TarHeeledTexan said:
I’ll say that this thread hasn’t gone the direction I was expecting it to. And as a father of a 9th grade boy, I was hoping more to see a discussion of how others have tried to teach their sons the right way and keep a handle on what they are listening to and watching (and how to direct them away from red pilling).
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1. I mentioned teaching my son. I guess you want more input and that's fine.
2. I can't help you too much on the red pilling thing. I started teaching my sons about gender roles and gender issue when they were 6 or 7. By the time my eldest would have been in a position to be red-pilled, he had long been conditioned to reject it. That's not to say it's too late for you, not by any means. It just means I can't help much.
3. For folks who might yet have kids, start teaching your kids young. Like age 5 or 6. That's when I started showing them the evils of heroin and other drugs, and also talking about what it means to be a male. I didn't do sex ed that young. They don't need to know about sex to learn the importance of respecting women.

If you start that young, it gets burned into their synapses, so to speak. Maybe I will be back here in five years complaining about my red-pilled son, but I really don't see that happening. He just has no interest in that sort of thing. He's got a gf, and in HS he had multiple girls chasing him. It turns out that even HS girls like boys who listen to them, are kind, and take them seriously. So unless something changes in a dramatic way, he's got himself set up pretty well.

I'm no child psychologist, but my experience says -- start early. The earlier, the better. Just like with foreign languages. Get what you want burned into their brains.
 
Lando said:
The problem is that the person who needs to teach someone how to please their partner is their partner. We don't need to directly teach the mechanics so much as we need to help people communicate and remove the shame surrounding that communication. If both people communicate what they like and don't like (before, during, and after) without feeling ashamed about what they like and don't like then they'll figure it out, or at least figure out that they aren't a great match.
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I think this is asking way too much of young people, and the people who are supposed to teach them how to communicate with each other.

But really, it doesn't have to be an either/or thing. Give young men a clue how to get started so they don't feel embarrassed. Give them a realistic sense of what to expect, physically and emotionally. Then teach them the communication part, which will be more useful if they have some experience.
 
TarHeeledTexan said:
I’ll say that this thread hasn’t gone the direction I was expecting it to. And as a father of a 9th grade boy, I was hoping more to see a discussion of how others have tried to teach their sons the right way and keep a handle on what they are listening to and watching (and how to direct them away from red pilling).
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With our boy, now 17, we completely banned social media except for discord, which he uses when he’s gaming and we’re usually in the room. He has no desire to be on TT or IG, and doesn’t feel the need to knuckle on peer pressure. He plays a lot of the standard stuff (Roblox, Skyrim, etc) and we let him make those choices after discussion. We talk to him a lot and we’re lucky that he’s never felt the need to pull far away.

But I really think social media is a plague and super destructive for kids’ well being.

We also talk a lot about politics and treat him like an adult, soliciting his opinion and letting him challenge us as well as challenging him.
 
Geisterfahrer said:
With our boy, now 17, we completely banned social media except for discord, which he uses when he’s gaming and we’re usually in the room. He has no desire to be on TT or IG, and doesn’t feel the need to knuckle on peer pressure. He plays a lot of the standard stuff (Roblox, Skyrim, etc) and we let him make those choices after discussion. We talk to him a lot and we’re lucky that he’s never felt the need to pull far away.

But I really think social media is a plague and super destructive for kids’ well being.

We also talk a lot about politics and treat him like an adult, soliciting his opinion and letting him challenge us as well as challenging him.
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Discord is where a lot of bad stuff goes down.
 
Young bucks, you better learn how to flirt and how to communicate. Women have sex between the ears, not between the hip joints. Mike Royko coined the ability to "grab them by the brain" the cute meet.

 
Ragazzz52 said:
I got to think there was a lot of lying / exaggeration in your early 20’s. I worked hard at it and I never got to get laid multiple times in the same week. I assume that this includes different partners because I agree it was multiple times a week if you had a steady / almost engaged girlfriend.
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My friend circle at UNC were primarily the baseball team. That might have a lot to do with it.
 
I always this was a really good scene for teaching young men how to socialize with women. It doesn't have to be complicated. Just ask questions, pay attention and listen.



Start at 1:04, to get over Neil's fear about being found out.
 
Geisterfahrer said:
With our boy, now 17, we completely banned social media except for discord, which he uses when he’s gaming and we’re usually in the room. He has no desire to be on TT or IG, and doesn’t feel the need to knuckle on peer pressure. He plays a lot of the standard stuff (Roblox, Skyrim, etc) and we let him make those choices after discussion. We talk to him a lot and we’re lucky that he’s never felt the need to pull far away.

But I really think social media is a plague and super destructive for kids’ well being.

We also talk a lot about politics and treat him like an adult, soliciting his opinion and letting him challenge us as well as challenging him.
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Somewhat similar with my son. We haven’t had to ban social media as he’s shown no interest in TT, IG, etc., though he and his friends do text a lot and watch lots of stupid YT videos. He hangs out with his friends IRL a lot and plays Fortnite.

The main rule is that I have his phone passcode and can go on it whenever I want to see what he’s been up to. I also can easily see what he’s been watching on YT or searching on Google, since his account is tied to mine. So far, he hasn’t been on anything worrying and hasn’t shown great aptitude yet for knowing how to hide what he’s up to.

I do like his friends and he comes from a fairly liberal family with plenty of opinionated women who wouldn’t put up with BS stuff from him. But I don’t really know what he and his friends are like when there are no adult eyes on them, and I don’t know what he hears from peers at school.

Basically, you hope you have done and are doing right, but there’s only so much you can do without being a control freak on them, which in theory of thing that just drives them the wrong direction.
 
Lando said:
The problem is that the person who needs to teach someone how to please their partner is their partner. We don't need to directly teach the mechanics so much as we need to help people communicate and remove the shame surrounding that communication. If both people communicate what they like and don't like (before, during, and after) without feeling ashamed about what they like and don't like then they'll figure it out, or at least figure out that they aren't a great match.
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Ding ding ding. If you've experienced sex with more than one person then you know that people are excited, pleased, etc. by different things. There's no way to teach someone how to be a great lover through mechanics, because those "moves" won't work on everyone. It's far more important to teach communication.
 
gregh1 said:
The bro culture stuff extends across all races?
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One thing that surprised and annoyed me was seeing this happen to nonwhite YouTube creators.

Several years ago there was that viral video of the 2 black teens reacting to Phil Collins’ “In the Air Tonight.” I loved watching their reactions to “white” music and that led me down a rabbit hole to a bunch of black creators who basically did the same thing: listen to rock music and react to it. Brad and Lex, Asia and BJ, Rob Squad Reactions, etc - all super fun to watch.

But one thing you start to see with all these channels over time is people trying to get them to watch red pill material, or “anti woke” stuff. This dumbass comedian Tom MacDonald, if any of y’all know of him. Some Canadian guy whose whole shtick is attacking “woke” people.

There’s a popular YouTube channel called The Cartier Family. It’s like 5 guys who were on the track team at Louisiana-Lafayette. Same basic premise. Black guys reacting to white music, comedy, movies etc. And they got majorly red pilled and ended up featured at the RNC.

 
I used to work at a Unitarian church, and they had a sex-ed program they had developed in partnership with the Congregationalists, designed by a team of child development experts, ethicists, etc. I went into it managing a small group of jr. high kids, and was extremely apprehensive about it. But after one or two sessions, I came to realize how incredibly important thoughtful, value-based sex education was. It was so much fun...honest, disarming, hilarious. I will 100 percent put my own son through it, from preshool to high school. Could not recommend it more. It's called OWL, or "Our Whole Lives"

en.wikipedia.org

Our Whole Lives - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org en.wikipedia.org
 
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