its obnoxious when people flog young women about smiling more but when you're a public figure it will definitely help your image.
Absolutely. Especially if
Setting aside the entire football saga, and not to derail the thread, but it is clearly not well understood (or understood and intended) how tiresome it is for women to be critiqued for “resting bitch face” and not smiling enough. I mean fucking look at Belichick’ resting bulldog face. But that’s manly, I guess. Way too many men have what I’ll charitably call resting leer face.
Years ago, a partner of mine called to express his deeply felt disgrace that our shared client had cursed extensively in a meeting I was attending. He had never heard this client speak that way around a woman and couldn’t believe the client would speak that way with me present. I told him I appreciated the consideration but (a) nothing I haven’t heard before and (b) much better for me that my client think of me a his lawyer around whom he in comfortable cursing at length than as a woman.
So it’s a multi-edged sword. Smile to be aesthetically pleasing, to “light up a room”, to put others at ease. Don’t smile too much or you seem frivolous or stupid. Don’t smile enough and you’re a bitch.
Everyone assumes that Belichick is a man among men football coach but also a victim of his own age and libido, great enough to be the best football coach ever by weak enough to be taken advantage of by a young gold digger.
And she would’ve gotten away with it, too, if only she would just smile a little more often.
To be clear, I'm not offering any general criticism of RBF. I'm not even criticizing Jordon for it because I don't know her and have no idea what she's like in private. i also agree that "smile more" is usually more a form of condescension and rationalization than actual advice.
In this specific case, I'm saying that the RBF is doing her no favors at all, specific to this limited circumstance:
1. She's a very young woman whose standing right now (in Chapel Hill at least) is due to her romance with the old HC. "Young woman lands older man, and immediately sets about changing everything" is a very old story. (I've seen it many a time in corporate law, btw). So people are going to be suspicious; I think that's more or less natural and isn't really gendered. And in that case, it's not good if one's natural facial expression makes one look even more scheming or manipulative.
2. I'm not saying smile more. I'm saying, "smile at least a little bit" and I think that's good advice for anyone, regardless of gender.
3. I wouldn't say this if she was a coach. I certainly wouldn't if she was a coach and it was during a game. But we're seeing her in scenarios where she should be smiling. Like the red carpet photos that are on the internet. Or, for that matter, during 60 Minutes. Again, I don't think "smile a little" is gendered.
4. My point in raising the RBF was actually trying to be generous to her. I think it's fair to say that a lot of people are unhappy with her. Maybe that's because she's actually a manipulative bitch. I don't know that. I'm wondering if she comes across that way in part because of her facial expressions, and inferring bitchiness from bitch face is not justified. Common, though -- common enough to affect perception, I think.
Obviously it's all speculation, really. But I'm not a person who usually notices smiles or people smiling, so for me to notice it is something.